#⊱ ⁞ * 💋 — ´ REPLY — i have controlled nothing.

[pucksandpower]

Push of a Button

Day 16 → Remote-Controlled Vibrator 💋 Jenson Button

Warnings: 18+ content

Kinktober Masterlist

Jenson leans back against the pit wall, arms crossed, his eyes locked on you. You’re standing just a few feet away, microphone in hand, talking animatedly to Lando Norris. Your smile is bright, your laughter effortless.

He’s seen it a thousand times, the way you light up around drivers, the way they light up around you. But today, there’s a twist in his chest, a quiet, insistent pressure that he can’t ignore.

Lando is leaning in closer than usual, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he grins at something you say. Jenson’s jaw tightens. He knows that smile, knows it’s not just friendly. Lando’s flirting, and you’re — what? Oblivious? Playing along? Jenson isn’t sure which is worse.

“Having fun?” Martin Brundle’s voice cuts through his thoughts, casual but probing. He’s always been good at that, at picking up on things left unsaid.

Jenson forces a smile, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Just watching the show,” he replies, his tone light, but there’s an edge to it. His gaze doesn’t leave you.

Martin follows his line of sight, then chuckles softly. “Ah, I see. Lando’s quite the charmer, isn’t he?”

“Too charming,” Jenson mutters, almost to himself. He’s trying to keep his cool, but it’s getting harder by the second.

There’s something about the way Lando looks at you, like he’s seeing something more than just a journalist, more than just a colleague. And you — God, you’re smiling back at him like you don’t notice a damn thing.

Martin raises an eyebrow. “Jealous, are we?”

“Not jealous,” Jenson says, a bit too quickly. Then, quieter, “Just … protective.”

Martin claps him on the shoulder. “Well, she’s yours, isn’t she?”

Jenson nods, but the tension in his chest doesn’t ease. His. The word feels heavy, like a responsibility, like a promise. He watches as you and Lando exchange a few more words, then you laugh again, this time reaching out to lightly touch Lando’s arm. It’s a brief moment, but it feels like a punch to the gut.

“Excuse me,” Jenson says abruptly, pushing off the wall and striding towards you.

You don’t notice him at first, too caught up in whatever Lando’s saying. But then he’s there, a solid presence at your side, and your eyes flicker up to meet his. There’s a brief flash of surprise, then warmth, and you smile up at him, a smile just for him, but Jenson’s too wound up to fully appreciate it.

“Jenson!” You say, your voice a mix of surprise and happiness. “I didn’t see you there.”

“Obviously,” he says, but there’s no humor in his tone. He turns to Lando, his expression carefully neutral. “Norris.”

“Button,” Lando replies, but there’s a mischievous glint in his eye, like he knows exactly what he’s doing. “We were just talking about the upcoming race. It’s going to be a tough one.”

“Yeah, well,” Jenson says, his voice steady but firm, “she’s done her job for now. You’ve got a race to focus on, haven’t you?”

You blink up at him, a little taken aback by the sudden change in his demeanor. “Jenson, we were just-”

“I know,” he interrupts, his eyes still on Lando. “But I’m sure Lando here has better things to do than chat all day, don’t you, Norris?”

There’s a challenge in his voice now, a quiet but unmistakable one. Lando’s smile doesn’t falter, but his gaze sharpens, meeting Jenson’s head-on.

“Of course,” Lando says easily, but there’s a tension in the air now, something almost electric. “Good to see you, Y/N. Catch you later?”

You nod, still trying to make sense of what’s happening, and Lando gives you one last smile before turning and walking away, leaving you alone with Jenson.

The silence that follows is heavy, filled with unspoken words and lingering tension. You shift slightly, turning to face him fully. “What was that about?”

“Nothing,” Jenson says, but it’s too quick, too clipped.

You give him a look, one eyebrow arched, calling him out without saying a word. He sighs, running a hand through his hair, clearly frustrated.

“Lando was flirting with you,” he says finally, his voice low but intense.

You blink, then laugh softly, shaking your head. “He was just being friendly, Jense. We were talking about the race, that’s all.”

“That’s not all,” he insists, his eyes locking onto yours. “He was flirting, and you-” He stops himself, taking a breath. “You didn’t stop him.”

The accusation hangs in the air, and you feel a flash of irritation. “So what, you’re accusing me of flirting back?”

“That’s not what I’m saying,” he snaps, then immediately softens, his hand reaching out to gently cup your elbow. “I’m just … look, it bothers me, okay? Watching him look at you like that, knowing how much attention you get from the other drivers. It’s-” He pauses, searching for the right words. “It’s not easy.”

You stare at him, taking in the tension in his shoulders, the concern in his eyes. “Jenson, you know I only have eyes for you, right? I talk to these guys because it’s my job, not because I’m interested in them.”

“I know that,” he says, but there’s still something unresolved in his tone, a lingering insecurity that he can’t quite shake. “But it’s not just about that. It’s about how they see you. How they think they have a chance with you.”

“But they don’t,” you say firmly, stepping closer, your voice softening. “They never have, and they never will. You’re the one I’m with. No one else.”

He closes his eyes for a moment, absorbing your words, then opens them again, his gaze softening as he looks at you. “I’m sorry,” he murmurs, his thumb brushing gently over your skin. “I just … seeing you with Lando, it got to me. I don’t like the idea of anyone thinking they can come between us.”

“They can’t,” you assure him, leaning into his touch. “And they won’t. But you have to trust me. Trust that I know where my heart is.”

He nods slowly, his grip on your elbow tightening slightly as if grounding himself in your presence. “I do trust you. It’s just — sometimes I get this feeling, this … fear, I guess. That maybe one day you’ll wake up and realize you could have anyone, and you’ll wonder why you’re with me.”

Your heart clenches at his words, and you reach up, cupping his face in your hands. “Jenson, I’m with you because I love you. Not because of what anyone else thinks or how many people flirt with me. You’re the one I choose, every day.”

His eyes search yours, and for a moment, it feels like everything else fades away — the noise of the paddock, the pressure of the job, the endless demands on both of your time. It’s just the two of you, standing together in this moment, connected by something deeper than words.

“I love you too,” he whispers, his voice rough with emotion. “More than anything.”

You smile, a soft, tender smile that makes his heart ache in the best way possible. “Then stop worrying about Lando or anyone else. You have me, okay? All of me.”

He pulls you closer, wrapping his arms around you in a tight embrace. For a long moment, you just stand there, holding each other, the rest of the world forgotten. Finally, he pulls back slightly, his forehead resting against yours.

“I’ll try,” he promises, his voice low and sincere. “But if Lando makes another move, I can’t guarantee I’ll be as calm next time.”

You laugh softly, shaking your head. “There won’t be a next time. Trust me.”

He smiles, but there’s still a hint of something unresolved in his eyes. “I just don’t want to lose you,” he admits quietly.

“You won’t,” you say firmly, your hands still resting on his chest. “You never will.”

He nods, his tension finally easing, and he leans in, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. “Okay,” he whispers, and it’s like a promise, like he’s sealing this moment between the two of you. “Okay.”

***

Jenson zips up his travel bag, his eyes flickering towards the clock on the nightstand. You’re running late, as usual, busy with the final touches of your makeup in the bathroom. He can hear you humming softly, a familiar tune that brings a smile to his face.

“Five more minutes?” You call out from the bathroom, your voice slightly muffled by the closed door.

“We’ve got to leave in two,” Jenson replies, but there’s no real urgency in his tone. He’s used to this routine, knows you’ll make it out the door just in time. Still, something in him shifts as he glances at the bed, an idea forming in the back of his mind.

You emerge a moment later, your hair perfectly styled, lips a soft shade of pink that matches the blush on your cheeks. You’re stunning, as always, and Jenson feels that familiar stir of pride — and possessiveness. You’re his, but today, he wants to make sure you feel that, too.

“We should get going,” you say, grabbing your bag from the chair.

But Jenson moves faster, closing the distance between you in a few long strides. Before you can react, his hand is around your wrist, gently but firmly pulling you back towards the bed.

“Jenson, what are you-” You start to protest, but the look in his eyes stops you short.

“Sit down,” he says, his voice calm but authoritative.

You hesitate for a moment, caught off guard by the sudden shift in his demeanor. But there’s something in his gaze, a mixture of intent and desire, that makes your pulse quicken. You let him guide you to the edge of the bed, your heart thumping in your chest as you sit down.

Jenson kneels in front of you, his hands resting on your knees, eyes searching yours. “I’ve been thinking,” he begins, his voice low, “about what we talked about yesterday. About how much I want you, how much I need you to know you’re mine.”

You open your mouth to respond, but he presses a finger to your lips, silencing you. “Let me finish,” he says softly.

You nod, the air between you charged with anticipation.

“There’s something I want to give you,” he continues, his fingers tracing the curve of your jaw. “A reminder, something special, just between us.”

Your brow furrows slightly in confusion, but you don’t break eye contact, trying to read the intent behind his words.

Jenson reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small, elegant box. Your breath catches as he opens it, revealing a sleek, discreet toy nestled inside. Your eyes widen slightly, and you glance up at him, searching his face for any sign of uncertainty. But there’s none — only a steady resolve and a spark of mischief in his eyes.

“Jenson …” you start, your voice a mix of surprise and curiosity.

He takes the toy out of the box, his touch deliberate and gentle. “Trust me,” he murmurs, leaning in to kiss you softly, his lips brushing yours in a way that makes your heart skip a beat. “I want to take care of you, make sure you feel me, even when we’re apart.”

You swallow hard, the implications of his words sinking in. “How …”

“I’ve got it all figured out,” he says, his voice soothing, but there’s a fire in his eyes that sends a thrill down your spine. “I control it from my phone. So no matter where you are, no matter what you’re doing, you’ll know I’m there with you.”

Your heart pounds in your chest, the idea both thrilling and nerve-wracking. “But the race-”

“We have time,” he interrupts, his voice firm but tender. He slides his hands up your thighs, his touch slow and deliberate, leaving a trail of warmth in its wake. “You trust me, don’t you?”

“Of course,” you breathe, your voice barely above a whisper.

His hands reach the hem of your skirt, and he pauses, giving you one last chance to change your mind. But you don’t. You nod, a silent affirmation, and he gently pushes you back onto the bed, his movements careful and deliberate.

“Relax,” he whispers, his hands deftly parting your legs. You do as he says, your body responding to his touch, the anticipation building with every passing second. Jenson is focused, his hands steady as he places the toy exactly where he wants it, his touch both tender and possessive.

You bite your lip, the sensation already making your heart race. Jenson watches you closely, his expression one of quiet intensity. He’s enjoying this, you realize — the control, the closeness, the way your body responds to him.

“Comfortable?” He asks, his voice a low murmur, laced with something darker, more intense.

You nod, unable to find your voice, your senses heightened by the knowledge of what’s about to happen.

He reaches into his pocket again, this time pulling out his phone. He unlocks it with a swipe, his eyes never leaving yours as he opens the app. “You’ll feel me with you all day,” he says, his voice dropping to a husky whisper. “And when the moment’s right, I’ll remind you who you belong to.”

A shiver runs down your spine at his words, a delicious mix of anticipation and trepidation. “Jenson,” you murmur, a mix of nerves and excitement in your voice.

He smiles, a slow, confident smile that sends heat pooling low in your belly. “Trust me,” he repeats, his thumb hovering over the screen.

And then, without another word, he presses down.

A soft gasp escapes your lips as the toy hums to life, a gentle vibration that sends waves of pleasure rippling through your body. You grip the bedspread, your eyes widening as the sensation builds, filling you with warmth and desire.

Jenson watches your reaction closely, his eyes darkening with satisfaction. “You like that?” He asks, his voice a low rumble that vibrates through your entire body.

“Yes,” you breathe, your voice shaky but honest.

He shifts on the bed, leaning over you, his lips brushing your ear. “Good,” he murmurs, his breath hot against your skin. “Because this is just the beginning.”

He adjusts the setting, increasing the intensity, and you arch your back, a moan slipping from your lips before you can stop it. The pleasure is overwhelming, consuming, and you can’t help but cling to him, your fingers digging into his arms as he holds you steady.

“Jenson,” you gasp, your voice tinged with desperation. But he’s relentless, his control unwavering as he watches you writhe beneath him, his expression a mix of tenderness and possession.

“Just breathe,” he soothes, his hand caressing your thigh. “You’re doing so well, love.”

You try to focus, try to ground yourself in his touch, but the sensations are too much, too intense. Every nerve in your body is alight, every inch of your skin hypersensitive to his touch, to the vibrations that are driving you closer and closer to the edge.

Jenson shifts, his lips brushing against your forehead, your cheeks, your lips, grounding you in the moment, reminding you of his presence. “You’re mine,” he whispers, his voice a low, possessive growl that sends shivers down your spine. “Say it.”

“I’m yours,” you gasp, the words tumbling out of you in a rush, as much a plea as a declaration.

His eyes flare with satisfaction, and he lowers his head, capturing your lips in a searing kiss that steals your breath away. You kiss him back with everything you have, pouring all your love, your desire, your trust into that kiss.

When he finally pulls back, you’re both breathless, your heart pounding in your chest. “That’s my girl,” he murmurs, his voice soft but filled with pride. “You’re doing so well. Just a little longer.”

He adjusts the setting again, and this time, the intensity makes you cry out, your body trembling with the effort to hold on, to ride the waves of pleasure crashing over you. But Jenson is there, his presence a steady anchor in the storm, guiding you, supporting you.

“Jenson,” you whimper, your voice trembling with need. “Please …”

But he only smiles, a slow, knowing smile that tells you he’s not done with you yet. “You can take it,” he says, his voice low and commanding. “I know you can.”

And you do, because he’s right — he knows you better than anyone, knows exactly how far he can push you, how much you can take. And right now, he’s pushing you to your limits, testing your resolve, your trust, your love for him.

The toy buzzes relentlessly against you, sending shockwaves of pleasure through your entire body. You can barely think, barely breathe, your world reduced to the sensations overwhelming you, to the man who’s controlling them.

“Jenson,” you cry out, your voice breaking with the intensity of it all. But he’s there, his touch grounding you, his voice guiding you, his presence a steady, reassuring force in the midst of the storm.

“You’re mine,” he whispers again, his voice rough with emotion, with need. “All mine.”

“Yes,” you gasp, your voice barely a whisper. “Yours.”

And then, just when you think you can’t take any more, he finally relents, his thumb sliding over the screen, lowering the intensity until the vibrations stop altogether, leaving you trembling and breathless in his arms.

Jenson pulls you close, his hand gently sliding down to fix your underwear, carefully smoothing it back into place. He takes a moment to pat over it, a satisfied smile tugging at the corners of his lips as he feels the warmth radiating from you.

“This is just the beginning,” he murmurs, his voice low and filled with promise. He leans in to kiss your forehead, his touch lingering as if he’s imprinting this moment into both of your memories. “There’s a whole day ahead, love. And I’m not done with you yet.”

You shiver under his touch, your body still humming with the aftershocks of pleasure, and the anticipation of what’s to come makes your heart race all over again. As he stands, offering you a hand to help you up, you know this day is going to be one you’ll never forget.

***

Jenson leans casually against the pit wall, his eyes fixed on the big screen broadcasting the live feed from the paddock. You’re on camera, poised and professional as always, a radiant smile on your face as you prepare for the post-FP2 interviews. The soft buzz of the paddock fades into the background as he watches you, the world narrowing down to just you and the screen.

He knows your routine by heart — the way you stand, the confident tilt of your head, the way you hold the microphone with ease. But today, there’s something different, a lingering anticipation that’s been building ever since this morning in the hotel room.

You catch sight of Charles Leclerc approaching, and your smile widens, eyes brightening with recognition. “Charles! A strong session today. How are you feeling going into qualifying?”

Charles grins back, his boyish charm in full force as he stops in front of you. “Feeling good. The car’s in a good place, and we’ve got a solid shot at pole.”

Jenson watches the interaction closely, the subtle way Charles leans in just a fraction closer than necessary, the playful glint in his eye as he responds to your questions. It’s nothing out of the ordinary — Charles is known for his easy charm — but to Jenson, it’s a reminder of how easily others are drawn to you, how effortlessly you command attention.

You laugh at something Charles says, a soft, genuine sound that Jenson feels in his chest. He sees the way Charles’ eyes flicker over you, lingering for just a second too long. It’s innocent enough on the surface, but Jenson knows better. He knows the effect you have on people, the way you light up a room just by being in it.

“Glad to hear it,” you say, your voice smooth and warm, the consummate professional. “There’s been a lot of talk about strategy — how much of a role do you think tire management will play tomorrow?”

Charles’ gaze doesn’t waver from yours, his smile widening as he leans in slightly, just enough that it feels intimate. “It’s always a factor, but I think we’ve got it under control. Of course, anything can happen on race day.”

Jenson’s jaw tightens imperceptibly, a flicker of something dark and possessive flaring up inside him. His hand slips into his pocket, fingers brushing against his phone. The control, the power, is right there, just a tap away. He can’t resist the temptation — especially not when Charles is looking at you like that.

You’re in the middle of another question when Jenson’s thumb hovers over the app. He watches you closely, the slight flush in your cheeks, the way you shift your weight from one foot to the other, the way Charles’ attention seems to linger a bit too long on the curve of your lips.

Without a second thought, Jenson taps the screen, the motion almost casual. He increases the intensity just enough to remind you of his presence, of the promise he made that morning. The toy buzzes to life against you, sending a jolt of sensation through your body that’s as unexpected as it is intense.

You falter, just for a split second, the question dying on your lips as your body reacts to the sudden stimulation. Your eyes widen slightly, the microphone trembling in your grip as you try to maintain your composure.

Charles doesn’t seem to notice the brief pause, still caught up in his answer, but Jenson sees everything. The way your breathing hitches, the way your posture stiffens as you fight to keep your cool. It’s subtle, but it’s there, and it sends a thrill through him.

“Are you okay?” Charles asks, noticing the brief flicker of something in your expression.

You force a smile, nodding quickly as you scramble to regain control. “Yes, just — just a little tired from all the running around today. But I’m fine, really.”

Jenson smirks to himself, satisfied with the small victory. But he’s not done yet. He adjusts the setting again, this time dialing up the intensity just a notch, enough to keep you on edge but not enough to make it impossible to continue.

You feel the change immediately, the vibrations intensifying against you, and it takes every ounce of willpower not to react visibly. You clench your jaw, forcing yourself to stay focused on Charles, to keep the interview on track.

But it’s hard — so, so hard — when every nerve in your body is alight with sensation, when every word feels like a battle to keep your composure.

“So, Charles,” you continue, your voice slightly strained but still steady, “do you think Ferrari has what it takes to challenge for the win this weekend?”

Charles tilts his head, considering the question, his gaze still fixed on you with that easy, confident charm. “I think we’re in a good place. The team has been working hard, and we’re going to give it everything we’ve got. But we’ll have to see how things play out on track.”

Jenson’s eyes narrow slightly as he watches Charles, the way the younger driver’s attention never wavers from you, the way he seems so comfortable, so at ease. There’s no mistaking the attraction there, the subtle undercurrent of flirtation in every word, every glance.

And Jenson can’t help himself. He taps the screen again, the movement almost automatic, dialing up the intensity just a bit more.

This time, the reaction is immediate. You gasp softly, your eyes widening as the sensation overwhelms you, and you have to bite your lip to keep from crying out. The microphone slips in your hand, your grip faltering as you struggle to keep control.

Charles notices the change, his brows knitting together in concern. “Are you sure you’re okay?” He asks, his voice softer, more intimate now.

You nod quickly, trying to brush it off, but the effort it takes to speak, to form coherent sentences, is almost too much. “I’m — yes, just a bit … distracted. But I’m fine.”

Jenson’s smirk deepens, satisfaction blooming in his chest as he watches you fight to maintain your composure. He knows how hard it is for you right now, knows exactly what you’re feeling, and it drives him wild with a mix of possessiveness and desire.

But he’s not cruel — not really. He gives you a reprieve, lowering the intensity just enough to let you catch your breath, to finish the interview without completely unraveling on live television.

You take a deep, shaky breath, trying to regain some semblance of control as you wrap up the interview. “Thank you, Charles, and good luck tomorrow,” you manage, your voice only slightly breathless.

Charles smiles, still concerned but letting it go as he nods. “Thank you. And take care of yourself, okay?”

You nod, offering a strained smile in return as you turn away, your heart pounding in your chest, your body still thrumming with the aftershocks of sensation. You can barely focus, barely think, as you make your way off camera, the weight of Jenson’s control heavy on your mind.

Jenson watches you go, his heart pounding with a mix of satisfaction and anticipation. He knows what’s coming next, knows that you’ll find him the moment you’re out of sight, knows the confrontation that’s brewing just beneath the surface.

But for now, he’s content to watch, to wait, to let the anticipation build as you navigate the pit lane, trying to keep your cool while knowing that he’s the one pulling the strings.

You make it to a quiet corner of the paddock, out of sight of the cameras, and lean heavily against the wall, your breath coming in short, ragged bursts. You know he’s watching, know he’s aware of every reaction, every tremor in your body.

And then, as if on cue, your phone buzzes in your pocket. You pull it out with trembling fingers, already knowing who it’s from. The message is simple, just one word: Mine.

You swallow hard, a mixture of emotions swirling in your chest — desire, frustration, love, and something darker, more intense. You know you’re his, there’s no question about that, but the way he reminds you, the way he exerts his control over you, leaves you breathless, craving more.

Before you can respond, you hear footsteps approaching, and you look up to see Jenson walking towards you, his expression calm and collected, but with that same spark of intensity in his eyes that you saw this morning.

“Jenson,” you start, your voice shaky but filled with emotion.

He doesn’t say anything at first, just steps closer, his hand reaching out to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing lightly over your lips. “You did well,” he murmurs, his voice low and filled with pride. “But you know this isn’t over yet.”

Your heart skips a beat at his words, the promise of what’s to come making your pulse quicken. You nod, unable to find the words, but he sees the understanding in your eyes, the acceptance of what he’s done, and what he’s going to do.

He leans in, his lips brushing against your ear as he whispers, “You’re mine, and I’m going to make sure you never forget it.”

With that, he pulls back, his eyes locking onto yours with an intensity that sends a shiver down your spine. He doesn’t need to say anything else — you know what’s coming, and the anticipation is enough to make your knees weak.

“Let’s go,” he says finally, his voice firm but gentle as he takes your hand, leading you away from the paddock. The noise of the crowd fades, replaced by the quiet hum of the facility around you. He doesn’t speak, doesn’t need to, and the silence between you is thick with anticipation. You can feel your heart pounding in your chest, each step forward amplifying the tension that’s been building all day.

He stops in front of a bathroom door, glancing around to ensure you’re alone before pushing it open and guiding you inside. The door closes behind you with a soft click, the lock sliding into place with a finality that makes your pulse quicken.

The room is small, sterile, with white tiles and a large mirror above the sink. The only light comes from the overhead fluorescent bulb, casting sharp shadows on the walls. Jenson doesn’t waste any time — he turns you around, hands gripping your hips as he lifts you effortlessly onto the counter.

You gasp as the cool surface meets your skin, the contrast with the heat radiating from your body almost too much to bear. He stands between your legs, his presence overwhelming as he leans in close, his breath hot against your neck.

“Look at you,” he murmurs, his voice a low rumble that sends shivers down your spine. “So eager, so ready for me.”

You can’t help the whimper that escapes your lips, your body trembling with anticipation. His hands trail down your thighs, fingers brushing against the edge of your skirt before pushing it up, exposing the thin fabric of your underwear.

He pulls out his phone, the app already open, and you can see the glint of satisfaction in his eyes as he turns up the intensity again. The toy inside you comes to life with a sudden, powerful vibration that has you gasping, your hands gripping the edge of the counter for support.

“Jenson-” you manage to breathe out, but the words are lost as the sensations overwhelm you. Your legs tremble, your body straining against the relentless stimulation, but he doesn’t relent. Instead, he steps back slightly, his hands on your knees, gently but firmly pushing your legs apart.

He watches you, his gaze dark and intense, as you struggle to keep yourself together. The toy pulses inside you, every nerve ending on fire as you fight to stay on the edge, to hold on just a little longer. But it’s too much — everything is too much — and you can feel yourself starting to unravel, the pleasure building until it’s all-consuming.

“Don’t hold back,” Jenson murmurs, his voice calm but commanding. “I want to see you fall apart for me.”

Your head tilts back, your mouth falling open as a moan escapes you, loud and desperate. You’re so close, teetering on the brink, and when he presses just a bit harder on your legs, holding you open and exposed, you finally lose control.

The orgasm crashes over you, wave after wave of pleasure that leaves you breathless, your entire body trembling as you cry out, unable to stop yourself. You fall off the edge, utterly consumed by the sensations coursing through you, and Jenson watches every second of it, his gaze locked on you, unblinking, taking in every reaction, every shudder, every gasp.

When you finally come down, your body weak and spent, he steps closer again. His hand trails up your thigh, fingers hooking around the edge of your underwear before gently pulling it aside. The toy slips out easily, still buzzing faintly, coated in the evidence of your pleasure.

He doesn’t break eye contact as he brings it to his lips, his tongue flicking out to taste the sweetness that lingers on it. The sight alone is enough to make your heart skip a beat, the intimacy of the act making your breath catch in your throat.

“Delicious,” he whispers, the word sending another shiver down your spine as he licks the toy clean, his eyes never leaving yours. When he’s satisfied, he leans down, pressing a kiss to your inner thigh before sliding the toy back inside you.

The sensation is different now, your body still sensitive, and you gasp softly as he adjusts it, making sure it’s nestled perfectly against you. He steps back, his thumb brushing over your thigh as he looks at you with a mixture of pride and desire.

“There we go,” he murmurs, his voice low and possessive. “You’re ready for the rest of the day now, aren’t you?”

You nod, your breath still coming in short gasps as you try to regain some semblance of composure. But it’s hard, especially when he’s looking at you like that, his eyes filled with the promise of more to come.

He helps you off the counter, your legs still shaky, but his hold is steady, grounding you as you smooth down your skirt and try to collect yourself. He tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, his touch gentle now, almost tender.

“This is just the beginning,” he whispers, his lips brushing against your temple. “You’re mine.”

And as he leads you out of the bathroom, back into the world, you know that no matter what happens, you’ll always be his, and he’ll always be yours.

[starillusion13]

family walking in or overhearing you getting fucked out of your mind during family vacay by nct 😭

LOVESICK

Pairing: Husband! Jeno x pregnant wife! reader

Genre: Fluff, Smut, Slice of life

W.C: 5.3k. Network: @k-vanity

Warning: extreme love between them, Jeno is a lovesick puppy for you, domestic love and we are horny for him. sensitive, overstimulation, teasing, nipple clamps, vibrator, nipple play, choking, edging, pwp (don’t do it silly), lots of kissing (I'm kiss drunk for him), mirror sex, fingering, crying, sucking, biting, impact play, getting caught during sex but to make it less embarrassing, there's a door in between. pregancy talk and a caring husband Jeno. Basically, you both are in love with each other and lost control.

MINORS DONT INTERACT UNDER THE CUE! 🔞

Have fun babygirls!

:🎀💋🎀:

Jeno and you had always envisioned a life brimming with love, adventures, and cherished memories. From the moment you met, it was clear you were soulmates destined to walk life's path together.

Your love story was nothing short of a fairy tale, filled with laughter, support, and shared dreams.

It was a warm, sunny Sunday morning, and Jeno awoke to the enticing aroma of pancakes drifting through the air. He stretched lazily, the corners of his mouth curling into a contented smile. The familiar sounds of you humming softly in the kitchen reached his ears, a melody that always warmed his heart. He rolled over and glanced at the empty spot beside him, feeling a rush of affection for you. Slipping out of bed, he padded towards the kitchen, eager to join you.

Why is the day feeling so different and lively?

"Good morning, love," Jeno greeted, wrapping his arms around you from behind and resting his chin on your shoulder.

"Good morning, Jeno," you replied, eyes sparkling as you turned your head to plant a quick kiss on his lips. "I've got a surprise for you."

Curiosity piqued, Jeno's eyes lit up. "Oh? What is it?"

With a mischievous smile, you handed him a small, neatly wrapped box from the counter top. "Open it."

Oh earlier he didn't notice it.

He is in love with you and his eyes are always locked on your form.

Jeno's fingers trembled slightly with anticipation as he carefully unwrapped the box. Inside, he found a pregnancy test with a positive result with a doodling 'Congratulations'. His heart skipped a beat, and he looked up at you, who was beaming with joy, tears shimmering in your eyes.

"Are you serious?" he asked, his voice thick with emotion.

You nodded, tears of happiness streaming down your cheeks. "We're going to have a baby, Jeno."

Overwhelmed with joy, Jeno pulled you into a tight embrace, lifting you off your feet and spinning you around. "We're going to be parents! I am going to be a dad, y/n and you will be a beautiful mom." he exclaimed, his voice echoing the shared excitement.

The day followed with a whirlwind of emotions and planning. Jeno and you embraced every moment of the exciting day, your bond growing stronger with the love and affection between you two.

Jeno is a pillar of support, always ready with a comforting word or a gentle touch whenever you need it.

.

.

.

You were so nervous about letting your parents know about this. Nervous, why? You were having so many emotions going through, so after almost three days, you let them know about the situation.

You invited both of you and Jeno's parents to your house.

And they planned a family trip to your house for a few weeks. Well, you were happy and excited to share the moment with them with this sudden new experience but somehow, you noticed one more thing. Jeno was continuously asking his mom when they were leaving.

Why didn't he want his parents to stay?

He even once asked you in one evening.

"Are your parents going to stay this week again?" His curious and eager eyes staring at you.

You turned your head from in front of the mirror, he was sitting on the bed like a lost puppy, "why are you asking?"

He was going to reply something quickly but held it back so he only shook his head, "no. Just asking."

You smirked, sensing him lying, "I know you are up to something so tell me why you are curious everyday how long our parents are going to stay here."

He rolled his eyes and laid down on the mattress, "I just want to spend time with you. All alone."

"We are alone. They are not invading our personal space and they are just enjoying themselves with us in this special moment. Isn't it beautiful?" You raised your brows and smiled.

He rolled to his side to face you, "it is, but I want something more."

"What?"

"you."

you frowned. "What do you mean? you have me. I am right here then what more you want. Jeno, stop with your stupid questions and replies." and then you turned around to resume whatever you were doing.

Jeno poked the inside of his cheeks.

he has to get what he wants soon...no matter how risky it is.

.

.

.

One evening, as you both sat on the couch, Jeno gently placed his hand on your belly. "Can you believe there's a little one growing in there?" he marveled, his eyes filled with wonder.

you smiled, placing your hand over his. "It's amazing, isn't it? I can't wait to meet our baby."

Both of your parents went to roam around the city for the day and today you both got some time alone and you could feel Jeno was too excited for some reason.

Man is a lovesick puppy for you but you are not something less than that.

you both love each other a lot and it's just so difficult to keep your hands off each other in front of your parents.

having some chit-chats with your husbands, you stood up from the couch and paced towards the bedroom and to your surprise he was trailing behind you as if he was waiting for the moment, you would willingly get inside the bedroom.

On your way towards the door, you asked, "When are our parents coming back?"

he quickly replied, "after dinner. we have enough time."

you entered the door and quickly turned around.

“enough time?”

He shut the door and locked it safe from inside.

"what are you doing?" you nervously laughed but deep down you could intercept the emotions visible on his face. you know what that means and you won't give in so easily, you want fun and a little bit of testing and teasing won't harm it.

he chuckled and took slow steps towards you. his strong gaze locked with your exciting ones, of course you were trying hard not to reveal your obvious reaction. "You know it well."

you blinked, "no...but...should we get ready and join our parents. I am getting bored lately."

you didn't move from your spot in the middle of the room and he was standing just a feet away, he scoffed and grabbed your jaw, "are you really so bored? why don't I help you to get rid of it --- without involving the parents." he brushed your hairs back, "also, aren't you having fun with so many people in the house and every time running away from me?"

you smiled even when his strong grip on your jaw was burning. His two hands were like angel and devil, just like his personality --- one harshly grabbing you and strongly gripping to not let you slip from his hold and whereas the other delicately and softly brushing the hairs and caressing your skin. there was both hunger and admiration in his eyes. like always.

"Of course, I am happy but you know sometimes I feel like telling my mom to go back when she is nagging at me for no reason. I am a grown adult now and I know what to do and not. yeah, advice is good and she has experience but you know that I am also going to be a mom soon."

"Get on the bed."

your rants stopped when he commanded you. Jeno had enough. Don't get him wrong, he could listen to you the whole day even if your gossips and topics are irrelevant and stupid but right now his patience is running out. He was not in a mood for anything except you.

he smirked when he noticed you blinking in confusion but quickly following his order. He approached the side of the bed and his predatory gaze locked on yours.

"scoot back."

Again, his tone had the same domination and this time you fought back, instead of scooting back, you approached to him at the edge of the side he was standing and stood up on your knees, "what are you trying to do, Mr. Lee Jeno." your hands sliding up his arms and you smirked at his reaction.

The effect was clear on him.

"y/n, I won't repeat twice. get back to your place." he raised a brow.

you tilted your head to the side, "what about no?"

he scoffed and pushed you back on the bed. you were laughing loudly at his reaction and he groaned before brushing back his hair in frustration. you rolled over the bed to the other side when he sat on the side and was fumbling into the drawers of the bedside shelves.

you inhaled a sharp breath when the realization hit you of what he was searching for. He was trying to tame you and play your own games. nervously, you bit your lips and clutched the shit. he turned his head towards you and the corner of his lips rose up when he noticed your scared eyes and nervousness all over your face, "are you sensitive?"

"h-huh?"

he raised a familiar object in his hand and you gulped before nodding slightly.

"what? are you okay or we can skip it?" he asked you and again turned his attention back to the drawer. The previous object was beside his thigh and you kept staring at it without replying to him until you heard the shut sound of the shelf and two more objects placed beside it.

"are you going to keep up with this behavior? then you are in for the worst punishment." he turned around to face your lying figure in a pink set of trousers and top. you seemed like a soft and pretty wife for him --- that's how he wanted you right now.

when he raised the object again, you slowly spoke up, "I am a bit sensitive these days. I think it's because of the pregnancy but I can still try it. I'm sure."

he nodded but still he casted an unsure glance towards the object in his hand and sent an assuring smile towards you. Even if he is controlling you on the bed and demanding every step of yours to be under his control, he wouldn't hurt you. He would only make you cry in pleasurable pain but not hurt you in real.

he pulled off his black t-shirt in one swift move and scooted near you. extending a hand towards you and you quickly grabbed it. he gave it an assurance squeeze and held you up to make you sit facing him.

"I love you, y/n. you know that, right?" he cupped your cheek and pecked your lips before smiling endearingly at you.

you held his wrist and smiled back, "I know, Jeno. I love you too."

the sweet gesture extended to his lips connecting to yours, securing the soft and collective moments between you both. you wanted him and he was willingly giving you. That's how the kiss was --- rough yet full of love. His one hand slid to the back of your head, securing a knot with a handful of your hair and pressing you tight to his lips. He was craving for this exact moment in those past days and when he finally got the chance, he won't be missing a bit of it. Teeths clashing, tongues fighting for dominance and letting yourselves melt into each other's presence was becoming intense.

Your arms snaked around his neck and his other hand wandering down your body, examining your every curve above the thin top when his one hand goes under your shirt to pinch your hardened nipple. Letting out a surprised gasp and a low moan when he repeated his action, he smirked at your reaction. Parting yourself from the kiss, you breathed heavily whereas his mouth trailing wet kisses to your jaw and throat. His palms massaging your sensitive breast and and you pants with moans when he was biting down your sweet spots around your neck was making him hard.

"Jeno..." you whimpered under his touch and caught his wrist. His head pulled off from the crane of your neck to face you. You were already blissed out. "It's painful."

He pinched your nipple, "this?" you nodded frantically and he laughed before pecking your lips, "it's good then. We will have fun today." you didn't reply anything but kept staring at him with excitement and nervousness. There was a fear of going overboard with all the games but also there was a blind trust on him that he won't hurt you.

Letting yourself move how he wanted, he made you adjust on his lap, your back pressed to his bare and wide chest. Even though he was handling you painfully slowly, calculating every second and igniting the fire step by step yet you were relaxing in his hold. You wanted this. You wanted him. Any stress, confusion, stiffness and negativity fades away when you are with him. His hands wrapped around your torso, chin on your shoulder and he kissed your cheek. You smiled at his gestures and kissed his nose.

"I am so happy for us. Still can't believe all these are true."

Your smile widened, "yeah. This is very much real. We are going to be parents and we are on this journey together." you turned your head to face him properly, he could see the excitement in your eyes. You have so much to say and he was glad that you were happy with him and as his pretty wife. "We have to plan so many things together."

You could see the adoration in his face and he nodded, kissing your nose and lips, "we will. But for now let's dive into this moment. Only us."

A breath escaped your mouth when you bite your lips and shyly nodded, giving him the sign that you were ready for whatever was coming in your way.

Bending a bit forward with you on his lap, he grabbed the first object for the day — out of the three. He would only use these three for today, for all other objects it could be any other time.

Unbuttoning the top from front, his fingers brush over your sensitive buds. Your body reacting how he wanted, his every little touch was making you squirm and whimper out his name. You sound melodious to his ears, your eyes closed and head falling back on his shoulder with your upper front exposed and his hands roaming on your burning skin. His breaths fanning over your ears and whispering dirty and sweet compliments in your ears with deep and low chuckles.

Oh it was a sight. He wanted to capture that moment with you.

Both of palms massaging your breasts, rolling the bud and pinching and pulling it to see your sensitivity. He made sure to see your limit with the present condition and when you gave him a nod to proceed. He brought the clamps to your front. You glanced at it and then turned away. A shiver ran down your body with the thought of it. He held the two clips and slightly pinched your stomach then some other areas around.

"Trust me and tell me if it's too much."

He waited for your affirmation and when he got the signal, he pressed down the clips to your nipples. It was a quick pinch and he again retreated the clips. You again nodded when he pressed the first clip to the bud then slowly to the second one.

Your hands clutching above his thigh, fisting his trouser and moaning out his name. Jeno moved your hairs to trail down kisses in the crook of your neck and exposed shoulder. The cold chain connecting the two clamps resting on your chest and hanging loosely, tickling your stomach. Intertwining his hands with one of yours on his thigh and the other caressing your thighs and arms. His soft touches and grunts in your ears made you squirm in his hold. The pain from your nipples making you moan out his name and he urges you to say his name on repeat.

His palm resting over your belly, carefully and tenderly caressing it, humming in your ears, "there's a little one growing and I'm going to let that one know how I love the mommy and my wife so much. I love every moment with you."

"Jeno...please...do something...please."

He slightly pulled the chain on your chest when you cried out in pain and he quickly left it and kissed your cheek. Sliding your trouser and panty down, leaving you only in an unbuttoned top. You grinded on his lap when you felt his hard member poking your lower back.

"y/n...stay still. Be a good girl." he chuckled and caressed your exposed thigh, fingers lingering around the inner thigh near the aching and red cunt. "Be a good mommy for me."

Resting his forehead on your shoulder, placing a kiss on your back, he circled his thumb over your clit. Closing your eyes, you moaned and arch your back when he pressed his palm over the heat.

"You are so beautiful, y/n."

"Coz you are my handsome man, Jeno."

You looked at him smiling but when you found his gaze in front, you followed his eyes and gasped. Oh! The mirror across the room displaying you two together and your body decorated with his hands and clamps. Your gazes locked in the mirror and he kissed your shoulder when he felt you shying away.

You are too sweet for him to handle.

Your eyes scanned his black hairs falling over his forehead, veins on hands and neck popping out when his whole attention was on you. You were falling in love with him all over again. Distracting with his handsome features and his soft touch and low voice, his fingers parted your folds and rubbed it slowly.

"Jeno...more please."

"I will give you more. Have patience, baby."

Turning your head to the side, he caught your lips into a feverish kiss. You both are sick of each other's love and pleasure is the only medicine for it. A finger inserted inside your folds and he groaned when your lips sucked his fingers in so easily when your other lips danced with his in a rhythm.

Your arousal dripping in his palm, “so wet for me, love.”

Pumping into you with a slow pace, adding one more finger, your back arched and you moaned out his name into his mouth. He left your mouth alone, one hand torturing you with a painfully slow rhythm and the other one resting on your belly. You grabbed his hair in a fist and with other held his wrist which was playing with the chain on your chest.

You were panting when he increased his pace, "Jeno...it's painful." he tugged the chain softly and smiled, "this?" you nodded and he pulled it with more force, other hand still working on your heat. You cried out when he tugged at it again and kept it locked in a painful angle. No, it wasn't too much for you, if it was then you could have given him the warning and said the word. Still, he watched your change in facial expression, your scrunched nose, creased forehead with sweat lining on it and moans with heavy breaths. There was no sign from you to stop him and he increased the pace.

Hitting the exact spot which pushed you to the climax, you begged for permission. He never liked you cumming without his order and he waited for more. He didn't allow you even when you were begging, his fingers slowed down when he added one more finger and continued in a slow teasing movement. He knew the effect of edging you, the intense orgasm from you is a sight to look at.

"Open your eyes, y/n. Look at the mirror in front." he whispered the words into your ears.

You fought back the pressure and somehow managed to lock your gaze with him in the mirror. Your wet eyelashes with tear stained cheeks. You pout when you notice his smirk. He was enjoying your view and how you were trying to move your hip against his hand for the friction you needed.

You whined, "Jeno...please."

He chuckled, pressing a soft kiss on your shoulder. Increasing his pace and tugging the chain at the same time earned a loud gasp and moan from you. You were crying yet urging him to go on. He listened to your every sound escaping from you. He loves the sounds. He loves you.

"Cum for me, pretty." he gestured with a soft bump with his head to yours, "Look at me."

You did what he told you to do. With a loud cry of his name, you came undone on his fingers. Your gaze was still locked with him.

Resting your head on his chest and panting heavily. He laid you down on the bed, hovering over you quickly. The silver necklace around his neck, dangling in front of your eyes. Your hands reached up to touch his abs and his biceps.

"I love you."

He laughed at your sudden confession, "this was how you sounded for the first time. I love you too, baby."

You smiled at the thought that he still remembered the moment from five years ago.

"Are you okay? Is it hurting somewhere?" he had a concern over his features. You shook your head with a faint 'No'.

He smiled and reached for the second object — the tiny vibrator.

"We can skip the handcuffs today. We don't need it. I want to feel your touch and you, so let's stick to only this." he said and started the vibrator, filling the room with the low buzzing sound. Your heat throbbed when he looked at you with those dark lustful eyes and without any more second, he placed it on your belly. You hummed and he picked it up and moved it across your body, watching you squirming under its effect. Circling around the nipples and tugging the chain at the same time. Oh it was too much for you to handle but not to stop him.

You were trapped like a prey under his predatory gaze.

For a moment he removed the clamps from you, sucking and biting the sensitive hard nipples. You were trying your best to break free but he held you tight. He loves to rest his head on breast and play with them and now when he got the chance to have it —— why not?

“I can’t believe that this gonna grow in size. Oh! I’ll love it.” He said and continued the sweet torture on your chest. Leaving red and purple marks all over the skin where his fingers caressing the area.

He was getting drunk on your breast.

Again, he placed the vibrator on your belly, also attaching the clamps back to the nipples and sat back to get rid of his trouser. You were ready for him and he had to have you right at the moment. The sight in front of him was making him painfully hard and he was aching for your touch.

Lining with the entrance, his angry red tip with precum dripping was teasing your entrance. He gave it some stroke and squeeze, painting the precum all over. The buzzing sound on your belly and his tight grip on your inner thighs to make it part when you tried to close them around him. Not wasting more painful seconds, he inserted his tip and waited for you to adjust. Nodding your head, he inserted his thick girth inside you.

" you taking me so well, baby." he groaned when you squeezed around him, "fuck...are you feeling good?"

You nodded and breathed out, "yes, Jeno. move your hip, please fuck me."

Moving his hip in slow movements, he chuckled, "as if you will take my cum again. Do you want me to spill inside you baby?"

"Yes...yes please."

He grabbed your cheeks, making you look at him when he titled his head, "how? You are already pregnant." he thrusted deeper, his tip brushing your g-spot, "only if I could fill you up with one more."

"Fill me up..please." you whimpered and tried to break free when he moved the vibrator from your belly to your clit. He groaned along with the new vibration and how tight your folds tensed around his member.

"You are spitting nonsense baby." he laughed at you when you repeated your pleading for him to fill you up.his hand fell from your lips to your throat, measuring his palm around it and holding it firmly. Giving it a firm squeeze, you arched your back to the effect. Thrusting at a fast pace, he squeezed your throat, putting pressure on both the sides. Tears flowing down your eyes when he left the grip on your hip to pull the chain to your clamps.

"Jeno!"

"Yes, baby. Say my name again. Let that baby know how much I love you. Only I can make you feel good and only I can love you."

"Yes yes. Jeno...too much."

You held his wrist when he squeezed around your throat again. Another hand curling on top of his thigh. You watched how worked out he was, sweat dripping down his hairs and his burning body with veins lining the skin and arms making his body looking angry. It was impatient just like him. You love when he manhandles you, have you in his own ways, fucking you into void but still caring for you. Always loving you and caring for your every need. You can't get a more perfect husband like him.

"You are taking me so well, baby. So perfect."

He bent down to kiss your lips and before he could speak a word more, he heard a couple knock at his door.

Both of Your eyes went wide when he hushed you and pecked your lips before replying, "yes?"

"Is y/n with you, son?"

"Yeah, why?" he averted his eyes from the door to look at your nervous yet blissed out face. His rhythm was slow and he turned off the vibrator and threw it aside. Holding your gaze he smirked, pressing you down when you tried to get up and asked your mom on the other side of the door, "do you need something, mom?"

"Yeah, are you guys busy? I think I heard her crying. Is everything alright?" your mom had a concern in her voice.

He chuckled and your eyes were wide at her words. He again held your throat and mouthed 'keep quiet'. He turned to face the door, "no mom. She is sleeping and maybe you heard the audio, actually I played it loud. Sorry for that."

You both heard her laugh, "oh no, it's okay. I was just worried and if you can please come down, we bought so many things for you."

"Yeah, mom. Sorry, I can't open the door right now, i'm stuck doing a thing." he smirked at you, increasing his pace, you bit your lips to prevent any sound escaping your throat. He cursed under his breath before replying, "I will be there soon. Give me a moment."

"Yeah sure, son. No need to wake her up."

With that she went away and you moaned.

"Do you want to let your mom know about us like this right now?" he thrusted deeper, "how her daughter wants another baby when already there's one growing inside."

"Jeno...I want to cum...please."

"Already? Haven't you cum before?" he was mocking at you but the way he was drilling inside you, it was clear that he was chasing his climax as well. You turned to face your side where you could see how your bodies were connected and you looked so fragile under his wide frame. He caught your gaze in the mirror and gave you a sweet eye smile. His thumb rubbed at your clit to push you further and ignited the fire bubbling inside you.

"Cum for me, baby."

Your whole body shook when you hit the climax. Arching your back above the bed and your both hands clutching the sheets tightly with your parted lips and hooded eyes. Jeno groaned at the sight unfolding in front of him. He thrusted deeper when you pleaded him to stop and a couple or more, he moaned your name and spilled his cum inside you, painting your walls with hot liquid. The feeling was euphoric and he bent forward, balancing himself on his palm at the both sides of your head and panting hard. He slowly removed the clamps and caressed your nipples. They were paining and it felt amazing when he was massaging it.

He pecked your lips and whispered, "I love you so much, y/n." hiding his face in the crook of your neck, inhaling your post-sex smell from your body. You stroked his head and kissed the side of his head.

"I love you, Jeno."

He hummed in response. He laid sideways to your side to face you. Caressing your head and giving you a warm smile, he asked you, "are you okay, my love?"

You nodded, "yes, I am. Let's go down to meet them. They are quite early back home."

"Why? Did you want more time with me? We can still have it if you want."

You hit his arm and he laughed lightly. He planted a soft kiss on your forehead and smiled, "it's okay. You get some rest and later I will freshen you up. I'm going to meet them and will help them out if needed. Don't worry. Sleep."

You hummed and closed your eyes when you felt your eyelids getting heavy. Without having any thoughts in mind, you drifted off to sleep, knowing you were loved and secured with him. He waited and watched you for a while, pulling off a blanket from below, he covered you with it and kissed your cheek before getting off the bed and getting into the washroom to dress himself.

Closing the door behind him, he went down to meet the parents and spent his time being a wonderful son after he showed you his love as a perfect husband.

In the end, it was the simple moments—the shared laughter, the quiet nights, the gentle touches—that defined your love story. Jeno and you had created a life filled with love, and you knew that as long as you had each other, you could face anything.

NOTE: please I want to thanks to people for reading and reblogging. Reviews are always appreciated. Spread love not hate. I don’t know if this is how you wanted it to be but I hope you have enjoyed <3.

Taglist: @mymoodwriting @justhere4kpop @anyamaris @yeoobin @icchyi @jwnghyuns @piratequeen-queenofgames @dinonuguaegi @oreharuuu @hwanring @hyuukah @kazscara @aceofspadesbiofalltrades @nvdhrzn @meowmeeps @vtyb23 @haechansbbg @corneliarstreet [open!]

[chikaras-garden]

Batboys as scenes from my favorite romance novels

Even when you’re alone, it’s like your love is torn from a page.

Pairings: Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Tim Drake, Damian Wayne x fem!reader

Contains: A very self-indulgent author. Scenes inspired by trashy Regency/Victorian romance novels. Oral sex (f!receiving) in Dick’s and (m!receiving) in Tim’s. Praise kink in Dick’s. Blindfolding, bondage, and vaginal fingering in Damian’s.

Notes: 18+ or you’ll be blocked. Scenes are inspo only, not direct quotes. I swear I can write cute smut. I have so many other favorite books and could do this another two times at least.

BRUCE WAYNE 💋 When He Was Wicked by Julia Quinn

“Do you ever wonder what I think about?” Bruce murmurs, head buried in your neck. He refuses to touch you with his lips, only ghosting his nose over your sensitive skin; you feel his breath, warm and lightly spiced, fan over your collarbone.

He lets out a low sigh that covers your chest like a blanket, and your heart echoes the way his breath trembles. Whatever control he thinks he has most of the time—it’s completely gone with you.

“Do you wonder,” he continues, “what I wish I could do to you?”

You’re laying back in his bed and he kneels between your thighs, supporting your back with one hand while his fingers absentmindedly toy with the zipper on the back of your dress. Like this, he notices everything about you: the way your hair sits, the warm sparkle in your eyes, the way your lips part with every breath.

And you look so unbearably kissable that he’s fighting against his baser instincts.

“I would start right here,” he answers himself, finally pressing his lips against your shoulder. You shiver in reply, and a low chuckle slides out of his throat. “I would kiss every inch of you. Twice. I’d figure out where to bite you to make you squeal, where to lick to make you whimper. I’d have you come undone on my tongue—and I think you’d like it. Maybe you’d like it so much that I’d have to do it again.

“And then I’d sit you in my lap,” he rumbles, lips pressed underneath your ear while he finally, finally, unzips your dress. His eyes are half-lidded, his mind just as hazy as yours is. “I’d fill you so completely, darling; your heart, your thoughts. I’d make every one of your breaths mine—forever, if I could.”

DICK GRAYSON 💋 Heartbreaker by Sarah MacLean

“Here, baby, give me your— Yeah, just like that.”

The second Dick says that, your breath catches and you feel yourself tense. Heat washes over you from cheeks to toes, and you let out a soft whine that makes blue eyes dart up to your own. All he did was ask you to move your leg, then take your thigh in his hand to bring it over his shoulder.

His eyes glint and he smiles like a kid on Christmas. You just gave him a fun new trick to use on you.

“Oh baby,” he croons. “You’re gonna be such a good girl for me, aren’t you?”

You whimper. “Dick, please—”

While his cheek presses against your thigh, his smile is nothing less than devastatingly sweet. “I know, baby; I know.”

He watches you like you’re a work of art, like he’s in awe of every breath you take. Eyes locked on yours, he kisses his way from your knee to the juncture of your hip and thigh, then lets you watch as his tongue darts out from his lips and laves over your soft mound. You tense, shivering, and nudge your hips just a little closer to his lips.

“Oh, good girl,” he groans as if your eagerness is bringing him pleasure. He rewards you, then, with a languid lip up your folds, another groan, and a muffled murmur of, “Look how you squeeze me when I praise you, baby. Fuck, just like that; just like that. Wanna feel you nice and tight, can you do that for me?”

JASON TODD 💋 Scandal in Spring by Lisa Kleypas

“I’m here,” Jason murmurs near your ear, lifting his lips only as high as is necessary to whisper to you. In a second, his mouth is on you again, kissing down your jaw and throat until his face is buried where your neck and shoulder meet. In one swift, light motion, he tugs your shirt down so he can mouth over your skin, and your heart begins to race.

Because, just a few hours ago, you were under the impression he was dead.

Equal parts astonished and worried, you brush your hands over the angry bruises purpling on his skin. You don’t know what to say except, “Please be real.”

“I’m real,” he instantly replies in a shaking voice, kissing down your chest until he reaches the point of a nipple and sucks it into his mouth. Warmth blooms where his lips meet your skin, and you know for certain that this can’t be a dream; your imagination has never been so vivid.

“I’m real,” he repeats. “Feel me.”

“But you’re covered in cuts—”

His eyes, glinting in the moonlight that streams through your window, dart up to your face. He looks at you the same way you look at him: as if you’re newly aware of how lucky the two of you are.

“They don’t matter,” he promises. He takes your chin in one of his hands, and you feel his fingers—rough with scars, freezing cold—as they slide toward your neck. “You’re all that matters, baby. I’m not going anywhere without you, understand?”

TIM DRAKE 💋 Devil’s Daughter by Lisa Kleypas

“Oh fuck,” Tim murmurs behind you. At first, you think it’s in ecstasy, given the fact that he has you bent over a low bookshelf with his cock shoved mercilessly in your cunt.

But then he repeats himself, and you turn your head—but you can only catch a glimpse of how his lips are pressed tightly together. “What’s wrong?”

He huffs out a self-conscious laugh. “Do you have any tissues?”

Huh? “No, I don’t think so—”

“I forgot,” he declares around the thick lump of embarrassment of his throat, while letting his head unceremoniously fall on your shoulder, “a condom.”

“Oh,” you say, and then you start to laugh. Here you are, having sex where you definitely shouldn’t be—in a private study room in the library—and of course this happens. It’s too funny. Perfect, even.

“That’s okay,” you assure him before you wriggle and turn in his arms. With gentle hands, you touch his hips and nudge him backwards; now, he’s the one against the wall instead of you, and you smile up at him while you drop to your knees. Biting your lip, batting your eyelashes, you have the perfect solution in mind.

All his mortification goes up in a puff of smoke when you take his cock—so pretty, pink-tipped and bobbing against his thigh—in one of your very capable hands. Leaning forward, you kiss up the shaft until your nose meets coarse, intimate hair; then, you kiss down again and wrap your lips around him, drawing precum and a soft moan out of him with your first curious, teasing suck.

DAMIAN WAYNE 💋 Widow in Emerald by Scarlett Peckham

You don’t know him, but that makes it better. You’re blindfolded before he ever enters the room, and his hands are cool to the touch and efficient in every movement as he binds your wrists to the four-poster bed. 

He doesn’t speak. He doesn’t kiss you. That’s the arrangement you have: you place your trust in this stranger as a means of learning how your body finds release. He, for whatever reason, wants to make music out of your whimpers and moans.

His weight shifts, and you feel him slide in between your thighs. His fingers spread atop your bare chest, and you marvel at how big his hands must be for his thumb to reach one nipple while his little finger grazes the other. He puts just a hint of pressure on your sternum, then drags his hand down your stomach until his palm cups your sex.

Cold. His fingers are cold as ice, and you wonder if he’s just like that, or if he did something to his hands before his time alone with you.

With a flick of what feels like a sturdy yet nimble wrist, two fingers spread your folds, gathering your beginning wetness and exposing you to the air of the room—no, that’s his breath, and you feel the sensation of menthol when he breathes a sigh against your clit. Those same two fingers slip into you now, and you shakily sigh. The pace of his breaths becomes your own as he sends waves of pleasure through you, fingers moving in and out in a slow rhythm that draws a veil between who you are outside this room and who you’re meant to be within it.

[boytearscore]

why can’t i hate you? — matt sturniolo & chris sturniolo.

summary: being best friends with chris and nick meant the world to you, it also meant you had to deal with their brother’s hate, rudeness, eye rolls, mean comments and coldness all the time. but that didn’t bother you, in fact, it was actually always a pleasure to annoy the shit out of him constantly.

warnings: swearing, enemies to lovers, best friends to lovers, love triangle (not threesome), toxic behavior, angst, comedy, possible smut and of course, strong female lead.

taglist: @sleepysturniolo, @soshere, @spideylovin, @calisturniolo, @ilovecheese09, @ncm9696 , @klaus223492, @freshloveforthefit (thank you so much for the support, girls 💋)

author’s note: girls, i’m really sorry for the sudden disappearance. i had work plus lots to deal in life and a bad situationship that ended horribly, so now i have more time and i’ll be back with more updates. this is the next chapter of “why can’t i hate you?” and matt is gonna spill some secrets, stay tuned. hehe.

chapter four.

after finally getting home, you went to bed without checking your phone. chris was still sending messages and you also saw matt’s name on the notifications. but considering the earlier events, both matt’s and chris behaviour, you needed time to think before talking to them. you hated acting out of emotions, people hurt each other in the heat of the moment and that could possibly lead to a cycle end and to be honest, even though chris was suddenly acting like a fucking possessive person, you didn’t want to lose him.

eventually, you fell asleep hugging one of your pillows with a hundred thoughts in mind.

it’s monday, you got up late and went to work in a rush. only having time to take a kick shower and brush your teeth. at this point, you had 30 messages and since there was literally no time to actually read them, you just drove to work in completely silence. half of your brain was a war, the other half was completely calm, thinking in a racional way. the problem is you’re not being able to balance those two things like you usually do.

the day was extremely slow and stressful, some clients had a lot of questions and repeated them multiple times, so you had to explain over and over with your mind already full of thoughts.

you didn’t have lunch break either, a way of coping with an overflowing mind was throwing yourself in work but when was time to go home, your whole body was rigid and in pain.

you went home driving slowly, still in complete silence but your phone starts ringing.

“not right now, chris.” you whisper to yourself rolling your eyes but after a quick glance at the screen, you see matt’s name.

after thinking for a bit, you decided to pullover to answer the call, something inside your heart told you to.

“hi.” he says, and you look at the sky trying to keep your mind clear.

“hey…” you reply, but he doesn’t say anything for a while. with frowned eyebrows, you ask. “did you meant to call someone else?”

“no, it’s just…” you hear a loud sigh. “do you wanna meet me somewhere? we need to talk.”

“um, i’m almost home.” you said, pondering if that was a good idea. “wanna meet me there?”

“good, i’m already here.” you heard him say and before you could answer, he hang up.

you drove faster, but safely. nothing could take the thoughts out off of your mind, the memories from last night and the theories of what matthew could possibly have to say.

the thing is, no one messes with your head when it comes to mixed actions. especially men. they were all like that, you just assume what’s going on in their head and they act all surprised because you’re usually right. and until days ago, you knew matthew. you knew by the way he reacted to your teasing, every single thought he had. but after last night… everything is a blur, you don’t know what to think, you have no control over your emotions, you can’t even say no when he asks to meet you out of nowhere in such a hard day.

before you noticed, you got home. no one was there which made you confused but not surprised, maybe he left after getting impatient? that’s so him.

after parking the car in the garage, you slowly open the door entering still confused. everything was dark and before you could touch the light switch, someone grabbed you by the waist, turning you around. your heart skipped a beat, you grip the person’s hand and twist it with a quick move, making them face the wall.

“hey, hey. it’s me, matt!” he gasps, yelling.

your eyes widen, staring for a second at the back of matt’s head. “the fuck are you doing? how did you get inside?” you ask firmly.

“the spare key, under the plant…” he’s out of breath, almost moaning in pain from your grip. “nick told me.”

you roll your eyes, letting matt’s hand go and buffing. “that kid needs to shut his mouth.”

he sighs, massaging his wrist and biting his lips. you observe him, the way he’s sensitive to touch. the lack of sleep and rest probably got to you because wide things went through your mind.

“don’t ever do that again.” you tell him, throwing your purse on the couch and taking off your blazer. matthew is staring at you without saying anything. you raise a brow.

“what?” you ask and he looks away, scratching the back of his neck.

“nothing, it’s just… you look different wearing that.” he says still not looking at you. “usually you dress like a homeless person.”

“you came here to talk or tease me?” you ask with an annoyed face and he chuckles. that was the first time you heard his little laugh or saw a smile that wasn’t mean on his lips.

“sorry, i…” he finally looks at you, staring at your eyes while leaning against your living room wall. “can i ask you a question?”

the girl looks at the blue eyed boy for a few seconds, confused. what exaclty he could possibly be so curious about and why is he being so… different?

“go on.” she says, taking her heels off.

“do you have a thing for chris?” his voice is low, but loud enough for her to hear. he holds his breath, trying hard not to punch himself for being so stupid.

“why?” she raises a brow, walking to the couch and sitting there, crossing her legs with a nonchalant and calm face.

“you can’t answer a question with another one.” he rolls his eyes and heads to the couch next to hers, sitting calmly.

“i never thought about it.” she replies his question honestly, she really didn’t think about it until the day before when the whole thing happened. “he’s my best friend, i look at him and see my soulmate.” she notices a certain discomfort on matt’s face but decides to ignore it and continue her thoughs. “but not in that way.”

“not what it looked like yesterday.” he says before thinking, internally screaming at himself and she tilts her head again, laughing. “what’s so funny?”

“what’s with you, matt?” she asks him, frowning.

“what do you mean?”

“if i didn’t know you i’d say you’re jealous.”

“bullshit, and you don’t know me.”

“then why?”

“what?”

“why do you care if i’m into chris or not?”

he avoids her penetrating gaze for a few seconds, maybe for a full minute and knowing he couldn’t escape the question, he finally looks at her again.

“because i can’t allow it to happen.” he says firmly, clenching his jaw.

if she was confused before, now the girl was puzzled beyond words and thoughts.

“you think i’m gonna hurt chris? because i would ne…”

“that’s not why.” he interrups her, his eyes telling her more than his words. “i can’t bare to see you with him, that’s all.”

“why?”

an urge to get up and walk towards him washes over the girl’s body, she goes almost in slow motion and matthew follows her steps without blinking.

“why?” she asks again, now right in front of him. he’s looking up at her, his jawline is clenched and his hands are gripping his jeans.

“because…” he whispers, his voice cracking and she bends over facing him closely, matt lets out a sigh with her breath hitting his face. “because if you can’t be mine you won’t be his either.”

[scarlet-bitch]

Sunday Mornings

2k Steve X fem!reader, Angst/Fluff, 90's AU, no y/n

A/N: a different take on that s4 scene with Steve and Nance. Songs I loosely pulled inspo from: 'Never My Love' - The Association, the first verse of 'Sunday Morning' - The Velvet Underground, & the epilogue lyrics are 'Our House' - Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young *EDIT: my music was on shuffle and Make It With You - Bread came on and idk how I missed that for the epilogue lyrics!!! So I updated that. Feedback/likes/reblogs are greatly appreciated! Thanks for reading & as always, I hope you enjoy! XO, Scarlet 💋

Your favorite way to spend Sunday was a lazy morning in bed—preferably in Steve's—with your limbs intertwined and your head on his chest. Content in the silence, you'd often daydream about your future together. But today, instead of your own dreams, your mind replayed what you’d overheard Steve share with your friends—a life you couldn’t envision for yourself. One that's had you riddled with anxiety ever since.

“Y’know,” Steve said, pulling you from your spiraling thoughts, “when I was shopping with Robin yesterday, something caught my eye.”

You looked up at him. “Oh yeah? What was it?”

“A ring,” he replied, brushing his thumb over your left ring finger. “I couldn’t help but imagine it here.”

Your heart raced at the implication. This should have been a sweet moment—the first real conversation where the man you loved expressed his intentions to marry you. Instead, it felt like a nightmare. You had been meaning to bring up what you overheard, but it never seemed like the right time. Now, you realized you had no choice.

"I'm sorry” he said, his brow furrowing with concern as he noticed the look of panic on your face. "Was that too much?"

“No,” you whispered, as the nausea rose within you. “Not at all. Truly, there's nothing more I want than to be your wife."

“That’s all I want too, pretty girl. So sure of it, almost bought the ring.” He leaned in, his lips brushing against yours. You felt him smile into the kiss, and you wanted to revel in the moment, kiss him back with the same ferocity but your guilt was eating you from the inside.

Pulling away, you saw Steve lean in again, only to pause as his eyes flickered open taking in the sight of you. “Aww honey, you're crying?" He chuckled softly, moving his hand to caress your cheek.

Fuck. He'd mistaken them for tears of joy, rather than anguish they were born from—the words you'd struggled to voice.

You took his wrist, gently removing his hand from your face as you repositioned yourself to sit up in bed. Your fingers gripping the comforter for some sense of control.

“Hey, what's wrong?” he asked, his voice laced with concern.

“I need to talk to you about something important.”

“Okay.” He sat up now, confusion washing over him as his eyes searched yours for any indication of what you were about to say. You could almost see him rifling through possible scenarios in his mind.

“I’ve been selfish,” you admitted, tears stinging your eyes. “I thought there was time. We've only been together for two years, I thought things could change. I'd feel different-”

“Hey, slow down. I need you to take a deep breath."

He was right. You were nearly hyperventilating, words jumbling together. You shook your head, trying to calm yourself, but the pit in your stomach taunted you. You couldn't help but think this was beginning of the end.

“A few weeks ago, that night Robin, Vickie and I were over, when I passed out on the couch during the movie. I kept going in and out of sleep when you were all chatting, and I overheard you talking about your dream life. Something like six kids, summer trips in a Winnebago across the countryside. Right?”

Steve looked perplexed, as if trying to connect the dots. “Yeah, that’s a dream I have, but it’s a long way off. Did that scare you? There are a lot of steps still-"

“Steve, it didn’t scare me. It’s just… I don’t,” your voice quivered, the trail of hot tears now streaming down your cheeks. “I’ve been meaning to bring it up, but I didn’t want to ruin everything. I thought if anyone could change my mind, it would be you. But-”

“About what?" He cut you off. "Honey, what are you talking about?”

“I don’t think I want kids, Steve,” you blurted out.

His face fell, and his eyes widened. It looked as if all the air had been expelled from his lungs. His mouth opened slightly, but no words came out.

Your words began to tumble out of your mouth faster than you could think them through. "We’ve never really talked about it. If I’d known how much you wanted kids, I wouldn’t have waited so long to tell you." You paused, your heart pounding. “Hearing you talk about a big family has pained me for weeks. I know, without a doubt, you’d be an amazing father. I just don’t think it will be to my children.”

“But you’d be a great mom,” he said, desperation clear in his voice. You weren't sure if he was trying to convince you or if it was just a fact he believed.

“Maybe, but that doesn’t change the fact that I don’t want to be... I've tried to will the desire into existence, but I just don’t have it.”

Steve’s eyes glistened as he processed your words. You noticed his tongue pushing against the inside of his cheek—a gesture he always made when he was getting emotional. You wanted to take everything back, wished you could turn back time and not say a fucking word. But he deserved to know, even if it meant you'd lose him.

The silence was deafening—the only sound in your ears was the thump of your heart, racing so rapidly you thought it might burst through your chest. A few minutes passed, but it felt like hours. You weren’t sure how much more of the quiet you could take.

"Say something, please," you urged.

Steve focused his eyes back on you. "Sorry, I never imagined us not having kids together, y'know? So I'm processing."

"I'm so sorry, Steve. One day it may change, but I'm not hopeful." A sob caught in your throat. "And it's not fair to either of us to prolong the inevitable on the hope that I’ll change my mind.”

"W-wait, what? Are you saying you want to end this?” He ran a hand through his hair, a deep sigh escaping him. He shrugged his shoulders, raising a brow as he added, "I'm confused how this conversation went from talking about marriage to breaking up?"

“Isn’t that where this is headed?"

“That's what you think?"

"Isn't that our only option, Steve? Kids are something you want out of life, and I’m fairly certain I don’t—how can there be a future for us?”

"We both want each other! We’ll figure the rest out eventually.”

“And when ‘eventually’ comes, and I still feel the same, what then? When years from now you realize something is missing in your life, and I'm be the reason for it—you'll resent me."

“No, I won't. How can you say that?” He leaned in closer. “Maybe it won't be exactly what I pictured, but this doesn't change anything for me."

“You say that now, but you don't know how you'll feel down the line!" You raised your hands, in an effort to emphasize your point.

“If I don't know how I'll feel, how can you be so certain I'll resent you then?"

“I could hear it in your voice, Steve. You sounded so happy describing that life. A life I can't guarantee. So it doesn’t matter how much I want this or how much I love you. You deserve someone who you can share those dreams with!"

Steve moved his hands to cradle your face, hazel orbs piercing yours. "Oh honey... don't you realize, in every scenario of my dream life, you’re there. Fuck... you're the most important part.”

You swallowed thickly, your heart fluttering at the sentiment, tears still trickling down your cheeks. You wanted to accept what he was saying, but fear gripped you. The thought of losing him, of him one day loathing you, was unbearable to fathom. "What if you change your mind?"

"Never, my love." He gently brushed away your tears with his thumbs, shaking his head softly. "Listen, we can talk about this as long as we need to. Come back to it as much as you'd like. But please hear me when I say, if kids aren’t in your future, they’re not in mine. You're my future—you always have been.”

"Baby, you know that dreams, they're for those who sleep / Life, it's for us to keep / And if I chose the one I'd like to help me through / I'd like to make it with you... I really think that we could make it, girl."

Despite your affinity for lazy Sundays in bed, this particular morning found you in the kitchen, flipping pancakes while laughter echoed from the dining room.

"I hope you boys are ready to eat!" you called as you plated the pancakes.

"You hungry, bud?" You heard Steve ask.

"Mhmm!"

"Alright, then let's put the crayons away."

After a few minutes, Steve waltzed into the kitchen, grabbing the plate of pancakes from you. "Smells amazing, baby." He pressed a kiss to your cheek before heading back to the dining room.

A few minutes later, you joined Steve and the doe eyed little boy at the table, enjoying breakfast together.

As you finished up, Steve was prompting a burst of giggles from the child, as he made Mrs. Butterworth talk.

"You're so silly, Uncle Steve!"

"He really is, isn't he, Jamie?" you said, a smile tugging at your lips at the sight.

Just then, the doorbell rang.

"I think Mom's here!" Steve said, standing up to answer the door.

As Chrissy stepped inside, Steve pulled her into a hug. "Oh my, it smells incredible in here!”

“Had to feed my handsome little man,” you replied, nodding toward Jamie, who was bouncing eagerly in his seat.

Chrissy approached the table, ruffling Jamie’s hair. “Did you have a fun at your sleepover?”

“Yeah!”

“Did you thank your aunt and uncle?” she prompted.

“Sank you!” he beamed.

"Seriously, you guys, Eddie and I owe you one."

"Anytime," you said, handing her the Tupperware you'd prepared in the kitchen. "I packed some breakfast for you and Eddie too."

"You’re the absolute best," she replied, pulling you into a warm hug as Jamie and Steve exchanged their goodbyes.

Jamie then came barreling towards you, as you knelt down for a hug. "See you, bud!"

"Ready to go see Daddy?" Chrissy said as she ushered Jamie toward the door. "Thank you both so much."

"You'll always have a sitter with us, never hesitate to ask," Steve said.

"Love you both!" Chrissy called back, you and Steve echoing her words, before closing the door behind them.

As you turned toward Steve, he had a wide grin on his face. "Well, that was... a lot." He laughed.

"A lot of fun, though," you added.

"Sure was." He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close. "Bit of an odd start, but I think we can still manage a lazy Sunday. What'dya say?"

"Always."

Steve placed a kiss on your forehead, lacing his hand with yours, as you followed him through the hall of your shared home. The story of your love adorned the walls—from your first date to your wedding photos to your trips across the countryside. Today, you paid extra attention to them all, playing back all the memories in your mind.

When you reached your room, the soft morning sunlight filtered through the curtains, casting a glow on your sheets. Steve bounced onto the bed, and as you stood at the edge, laughing, he pulled you down beside him, peppering your face with kisses and murmurs of "I love you."

As you nuzzled into the warmth of his chest, you noted the rhythm of his heartbeat. It calmed you, as his fingertips danced softly across your skin. His touch was intricate and delicate while he hummed a soft tune. You lay there, basking in the bliss of it all. After a few moments, you couldn’t help but ask, "Steve, what are ya thinkin' about?"

"That I couldn't have dreamt up a better life than this," he said, matter of factly.

And honestly, you couldn't agree more.

[the-devils-girl94]

When Their Shy S/O Asks To Do It: Asmodeus 💋

((Finally I put up something dedicated to Asmodeus. I have so many fics for him but I have never gotten round to finishing nor posting them. Hope you guys enjoy Asmo's part! I probably made him a bit OOC in this...))

Warning: Slightly smutty, OOC Asmodeus, heavily suggestive

"Alright, you can do this," you cheered yourself on in your thoughts. In your hands, your thumbs hovered over the onscreen keyboard on your DDD. You put it down and dropped your head into your hands, letting out a frustrated sigh. For the past 20 minutes you've been trying to send a message to your boyfriend, Asmodeus.

The message? Well...

Thinking of the contents of your message, your thighs clenched together in need. Contrary to your pure and shy nature, dirty thoughts have been popping into your head about what you want Asmodeus to do to you. And it was hard to will these thoughts away due to Asmo's flirtatious nature. His constant whispers of sweet nothings and praises that he speaks into your ears slowly teeters you away from the good path. And it never matters where he does it, whether in public, private, or in the presence of his brothers. His salacious touch leaves trails of fire on your skin, tempting you so deliciously. He drives you absolutely crazy.

But he's also so patient and listens to you dutifully. You've never asked him to take care of your desires before, not having enough courage in you to do so. Instead, it's always been him who initiates, asking for your consent to touch you and blow your entire world.

It was only natural that you started to think of it as being somewhat unfair to Asmodeus to always let him start things.

So this is what you've been struggling with...

And it's not like you haven't tried before, but once you start to ask, you pull away saying that it's nothing important, bottling up your sexual frustration.

You finally shook your head, slapping your cheeks with both hands as you fill yourself with determination.

Picking up your DDD again, you finally sent a message to Asmodeus and waited with bated breath for his reply.

💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋

Bored.

Asmodeus was bored to death. Never in his life has he ever been so filled with boredom at a party. With the lively chatter and music abundant, Asmodeus just felt no need to be social. Of course, he kept his charming smile as many of his adoring fans greeted him and tried desperately to stick to his side. However, even they couldn't lift his tired spirits. He thought it was about time for him to leave this party since he wasn't having any fun, but then his phone chirped.

He pulled it out from his back pocket, his lock screen flashing in his face.

My Darling MC followed by numerous heart and kiss emojis popped up on screen. It made a gleeful smile turn up on his face to see your gorgeous face lighting up his screen. He immediately went to his messages, ready and hurrying to reply back to you.

He was stopped, however, once he read your message though. It read:

Hi, Asmo. This is a bit embarrassing to say, and I don't mean to be a bother since you're away at a party and all, but if you see this by any chance, I wanted to tell you that I'm really horny. I'll be waiting for you back home.

He almost couldn't believe his beautiful eyes. He read your message over and over, trying to convince himself that it wasn't a dream. You were initiating...Asmo had to control the blush that was creeping up to his neck. His imagination ran wild with all the possibilities of coming home to finding you in various states of undress. Though, even if you were fully clothed, you wouldnt be for long.

He chuckled to himself, his fans swooning over the melodic sound. He turned to them, upping his charm to another level. "Sorry, darlings! Your favorite demon has to go now. I promise to spend more time with you later, bye-bye~," he sung, waving at his saddened fans as he walked away.

As soon as he left out the door, Asmodeus did something he never thought he'd do. He ran home.

💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋

Back at home, you were still waiting for Asmo's reply. It had been well over fifteen minutes since you sent it, and you were overthinking about if the message was too much or if he had even seen it. You stared at your phone with anxious eyes until you were startled by the sound of your door slamming open. Suddenly you were being embraced by strong arms and a squealing voice calling your name.

"MC~," squealed Asmodeus as he squeezed you in his arms. "Did my eyes deceive me!? Are you really horny for me, my darling?"

Heat rose to your cheeks at his words and you squeaked, "A-Asmo!"

Asmodeus giggled, but he pestered you. "Are you, my sweet?"

To which you buried your reddened face into his chest and muffled out an embarrassed yes. Though you couldn't see it, Asmodeus smiled at you, his soft features becoming more soft as his eyes stared at your soft hair with love. He released you from his tight embrace and you were going to protest as you wanted to hide some more, but you were pulled back in for a deep kiss.

You gasped, giving Asmo the opportunity to tease your tongue with his. You were reminded of the fiery heat that was building up inside you before when you desperately wanted Asmodeus. And here you had him. His slender hands guiding your arms to link around his neck, and those same hands finding their way under your shirt, taking ample interest in your perky nipples.

You broke away from the kiss to whine as his fingers pinched and flicked away at them, arching your back into his touch. He licked his lips, savoring your sweet taste. His sweet MC. He brought his lips to your ear to whisper,

"I'm going to make sure to savor this moment, darling. I'm going to give you every part of me and take things slow tonight. I hope you're ready, MC~."

[dumbdomb]

tw1tter and r/eddit expats DNI

(see: g4m3r g4t3, involvement) 🙅

NO DETR*NS KINK BLOGS

N0 D3TR4N5 K1NK B10G5

NO D/E/T/R/A/N/S K/I/N/K B/L/O/G/S

NO D*TRANS K!NK BLOGS

NO D3TRANS K1NK BLOG5

NO D3TR4NS K!NK BL0GS

NO D*TR*NS K*NK BL*GS

NO DE/TRANSITION K!NK BL0GS

NO D*TR4NS K1NK BL0GS

NO D3TRAINS K!NK BLØG5

NO D*TRANSITION!NG K1NK BLOG5

NO DƏTRAN§ KİNK BŁOĞß

NO DEEETRAAANS KIIINK BLOOOGS

NO Đ*TRANS ĶĪŃK BĹÖĢ5

🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

stop messaging me about something that has NOTHING to do with me. stop forcing me to be involved in OTHER people's kinky interests. I AM NOT A FETISH. ignoring my complete LACK of CONSENT makes you an ABUSER, not a kinkster. stop HARASSING trans people.

🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

i am not kink shaming, only informing people to stop harassing a trans person about other people's fetishization of transgender people. i do not control the algorithms and search functionality of our hellsite, i can only make a pinned post and description. Check The Source.

💔🤍💔🤍💔🤍💔🤍💔🤍💔🤍💔🤍💔

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🛑 ICKY, INC3STUOUS, M1SOGYNY, DYKE BR3AKING, F0RCED FEM, S1SSY, F33DER, FAT F3TISH, PATR1ARCHAL K1NKS DO NOT INTERACT. if you have or post about any of these kinks or supposedly "darker", unspecified "taboo" kinks DO NOT INTERACT WITH MY POSTS OR MY BLOG IN ANY WAY 🙅⛔

AG3 G4P and INC3ST K1NKS DO NOT LIKE, COMMENT, REPLY, REBLOG, DM, ASK, OR INTERACT WITH MY BLOG IN ANY WAY 🚨

blogs i block on site: lcky, h4rd, UNDEFINED "taböö" k1nks. d-trans, førced fem, s155y, m1sgendering. 1ncəst, b345t1al1ty, sc4t, m4p5, vnd3rage or no age, hardcore r-p3, p4tri4rchy, and m15ogyny k1nks. f33der, we1ght ga1ner, fat fet1sh1zers. likes only, lurkers, no content on blog or not active. iv> and conservatives. 🔞🙅⛔🚨🚫

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some things i post that you may want to avoid: piss, omo, blood (including menstrual), cnc (not ř4p3), horror genre fantasies, whump, infliction of physical and mental pain, dacryphilia, irl news and history on occasion, food and recipes. ⚠️

i tag reblogs from other people and on my original posts. some warnings i use are: food mention, eye contact, weapons mention, religious mention, alcohol mention, drugs mention, smoking mention.

My Top 5 Results:

100% Sadist 🖤 100% Dominant 🖤 86% Degrader 🖤 81% Master/Mistress 🖤 80% Rigger 🖤💋

⬇️ posts: domb brain | pics: virtueldom ⬇️

[nateezfics]

PRETTY PLEASE

PAIRING — yunho x reader

GENRE — smut, sugar daddy au, ceo au, sugar daddy!yunho, ceo!yunho, aged up!yunho, fem!reader, dom!yunho, sub!reader

WARNINGS — smut, unprotected sex, self pleasure/masturbation, phone sex, begging, orgasm control, overstimulation (slight), praise, fingering, use of pet names, daddy kink, dirty talk/sexual language

WORD COUNT — 2.3k

SUMMARY — “where are your manners? you know you have to ask nicely if you want something from me, princess.”

Your actions could all be chalked up to boredom and your own insatiable need to be dicked down in the nastiest way possible.

You were left to your own devices for the better part of the last forty-eight hours as Yunho went from corporate meetings, to business brunches, and spent hours face first in his laptop while he held a phone to his ear. If you would’ve known that this was what accompanying him on his business trip to New York City entailed, you would’ve stayed home. But you didn’t expect this; you expected luxury and designer shopping and champagne toasts and sex on every surface of the hotel suite. You were incredibly disappointed and beyond impatient. And so desperate to be fucked it almost made you want to go insane.

Yunho was never fond of you sending inappropriate texts to him while he was working, you had learned that the hard way earlier on in your relationship with him, but you felt mischievous. You were looking for something, anything, to do in this excess of spare time, and sending him heavily sexual texts seemed like just the thing to do.

Your phone buzzed with a text and you immediately opened the message, your heart fluttering wildly in your chest.

Daddy💵 💋💕

What exactly do you think you're doing?

You bit your lip to suppress the grin threatening to spread across your face. Your thumbs tapped against your phone screen as you typed your reply.

You

What? I’m not doing anything, daddy🥺

Daddy💵💋💕

Don't play dumb with me. You know exactly what you're doing.

You

I’m just texting you. You’ve been so busy lately…and I’m here all alone💔

Daddy💵💋💕

I’m working. I need you to be a good girl for me, okay? I promise I will give you everything you want and more, but you have to behave, princess. That means you can’t be sending me these kinds of texts while I’m at work.

You rested the phone on your chest for a moment as you lied there, closing your eyes and rubbing your thighs together as desire pooled between them. You should’ve listened to him. Yunho had always been so good to you; he never denied you of anything. All he ever asked was that you behave, and you did. He rewarded you with whatever you desired whether it was a designer handbag or his cock. He spoiled you. But something in you craved rebellion. Maybe it was boredom, maybe it was because you were pouting, and maybe it was because you were horny. Regardless you wanted nothing more than to do the opposite of what he wanted you to.

You were lounging in a satin dress, but were completely bare underneath. Your sex was bare and wet and needy, and you couldn’t help but reach down to cup it to ease some of the ache. You sighed at your own touch as your thighs spread apart. The heel of your palm pressed into your bundle of nerves while your fingers caressed your slick folds. You slipped a finger in, moaning instantly as you quickly curled it within yourself. You basked in the pleasure for just a moment before using your free hand to grasp your phone. You angled the camera just right, enough to capture the way your finger dipped into your hole, and snapped the picture. You didn’t think too long before you texted that photo to him, breath caught in your throat as you waited for his response.

It was just a few moments later when your phone came to life with the sound of your ringtone. Your heart fluttered in surprise as you looked at the picture of him on your screen, your thumb resting just over the green answer button. “Hey, daddy~”

You heard a smirk. “You think you’re so cute, do you?” Yunho’s voice was low and thick with annoyance, but there was a hint of need to it that you picked up on, and it made your cunt flutter around your finger. “What’s with you today, hm? Didn’t I tell you to behave?”

You bit back a moan just as you decided to insert another finger. “Yes, you did.”

You heard his small tsk from the other end of the line. There was a beat of silence before his voice was ringing in your ear again. “Are you still touching yourself?”

You curled both fingers into you, and you didn’t hold back, allowing yourself to moan into the phone so he could hear. “Yes.”

He cursed, and his voice had gotten much deeper like the thought of you on the other end with your hand on your pussy was playing vividly in his mind. “You’re so needy for me, huh? You’re touching yourself because you’re too impatient to wait for me. God, you’re so spoiled.”

You whimpered as you fucked yourself with your two fingers. You were so aroused, your cunt leaking and drenching your fingers completely until they were shiny with your slickness. You were too focused on chasing the building high that you almost didn’t hear when Yunho began to speak again.

“Uh uh. You can’t cum just yet.”

Your hand came to a halt as you whined. “Daddy…”

“Where are your manners? You have to ask nicely if you want something from me, princess.” You could hear the smugness in his voice.

You huffed petulantly, already feeling your high slipping away as your hand remained still. “Daddy, I’m so close. Just let me cum!” You rolled your hips into your hand and hissed at the sweet friction. There was a deep chuckle in your ear.

“You’re so used to me spoiling you that you don’t even know how to say please. My, I’ve ruined you, princess.”

Small whimpers spilled from your lips as you continued to grind your cunt into your palm. You were regaining the momentum, the coil in the pit of your abdomen tightening again. You were spurred on by the fact that he could hear you, yet could not do anything to touch you, making you yearn for him even more. Your heart was erratic as you fingered yourself, your body flooding with growing pleasure. You needed to cum so badly, and you hoped he wouldn’t stop you again.

But today was a day for doing things out of the norm.

“I would love to hear your pretty little sounds as you come undone, princess, but I’d rather you not cum right now. You haven’t been very good today, and you’re oh so impolite.”

“Daddy, please —”

Another deep chuckle. “Oh so you can say it! But it’s too late for that now.”

You let out a shaky cry. It didn’t take much for you to crumble, desperately whining and begging for him to let you cum. You’d never begged him for a single thing, especially not for pleasure, and it was entirely foreign to you.

But unbeknownst to you, his cock was hardening in his trousers at the sounds of your pleas for him. Yunho adored to shower you with all your heart’s desires, and he never could’ve imagined how much he’d love to hear you beg. “I love the way you sound when you beg for me, princess. I think I want to hear a little more, but in person this time. Wait for me, I’m leaving my meeting right now and heading back to the hotel. You better not cum until I say so.”

The phone call went dead and there was a resounding silence left in its wake. Your arm fell onto the mattress at your side while your other remained across your body, your hand still wedged between your thighs. You ached to cum, to feel the release you’d worked yourself towards. You huffed petulantly, frustrated over being denied what you so craved for. You made no move to take your fingers from within you, and the temptation to finish yourself off despite Yunho’s wishes was clawing away at you. You could have done it, could’ve given into your own desire with just a few more thrusts of your fingers. They slid in and out slowly, eliciting a moan from your lips, and your pussy fluttered from the impending orgasm. You halted just a moment later. You’d already been bad enough, and the usual good and obedient girl within you warned you to stop before you dug yourself into a deeper hole.

It felt like forever waiting on Yunho to enter into the hotel. He stepped within the suite’s bedroom a few moments later, his tall frame looming over the end of the bed before you had time to react. You moaned at the sight of him, dressed in his normal business attire. The black suit was tailored perfectly for his body, and the fitted pants did little to hide the imprint of his half hard cock.

The fringe of his black hair fell over his forehead, and you swore you felt your cunt gush with renewed arousal. If you weren’t aching for him before, you certainly were then as he crawled over your body, his cologne wafting all around you. Yunho’s eyes locked with yours as you both came face to face, so close his breath mingled with yours. You waited for what he had to say, but you were the first to break the silence when his hand dipped between your thighs to cup your soaked sex. The moan was loud, guttural, and hoarse with need. He kissed your jaw just as you arched into him. “You’re so fucking wet, princess.”

Your hands grasped at his arms as you reveled in his touch, that very touch you’d been longing for over the last couple of days. His fingers traced the seam of your folds, coating them in your slick desire. You sighed his name in relief that he was here, that he was touching you.

The relief was short lived. “You didn’t cum did you? You’re so wet it makes me think that you did.”

You shook your head frantically. “N-no, I didn’t! I promise!”

Yunho gazed down at you with questioning eyes as if he was deciding if he believed you or not. He smirked, shaking his head. “I hope not for your sake. I don’t want to have to punish you for that, too.”

Your mouth opened to question him, but all that came out was a broken curse as he slipped two of his fingers into you. They slid right in thanks to how wet you were, and he waisted no time in setting up a swift pace.

Yunho’s lips were at your ear. “Beg for me, princess. If you want to cum, you’ll have to work for it.”

“Don’t do this, daddy,” you whimpered. “I want to cum so bad it hurts.” Your grip on his arms tightened in desperation.

He shook his head. “I said beg,” he ordered sternly. He thumbed your clit, eliciting another cry from you. “If only you had been patient. If only you didn’t decide to be a bad girl. I was almost done, you know. I was finishing up as fast as I could so I could spend the rest of this trip with you and fuck you so good until you saw stars. I wanted to pleasure you, princess. I hate denying you, but you left me no choice. Now beg or I will stop right now.”

Words failed you as pleasure overrode every function in your brain. You moaned some, stuttering as you tried to piece together words through the fog of euphoric sensations he was pumping into you. Somehow, you offered him the best you could. “Please, daddy. Please let me cum. I need you so fucking bad. I’ve been craving you this whole trip. I was so needy and desperate and I just had to touch myself. I couldn’t wait anymore. I just needed your attention and your touch. Please, I want to be good again. Let me cum, daddy. Pretty please!”

You barely registered his soft “good girl” before euphoria erupted in your veins. Your whole body shuddered under the weight of your release. Broken sobs left your lips, and Yunho was quick to capture them with his own as he kissed you. His fingers worked you through your high, pumping into you to milk you of every last bit of pleasure. It felt too good for you to even kiss him back, your mouth slack against his.

“That’s it, princess. You did so good for me.” Yunho’s lips trailed down your jaw and neck as he removed his fingers from you. He found his way back to your lips before looking into your eyes, adoring the way a haze of pleasure had settled over your features. “Now I’m going to fuck you like I’ve been dying to this whole damn trip.” He didn’t bother to fully undress, only pulling his trousers down enough for his now fully erect cock to break free. He was seated within your heat in a matter of seconds, and the sounds that came from you both were nothing short of primal. His thrusts were shallow as he allowed you some time to adjust, though with how wet you were he didn’t really need to, your pussy accommodating him with ease.

“Oh, god, please, daddy! I need you to move!” Your legs wrapped around his waist to get him to move faster, deeper. You were beyond eager to cum again.

Yunho chuckled. His thrusts remained gentle just to tease you. The pout on your face was too adorable. “I don’t think you realize what you’ve started, princess. I don’t know if I’ll ever get enough of the sound of you begging for me.”

AUTHOR’S NOTE — y’all don’t even know everything that went on just for me to get this posted :’) i struggled with this one so hard, idk i’m just not very fond of the finished product. oh well. it’s here, it’s posted, and it’s another fic for the 3k follower event completed. please show this some love, i really could use it! thank you <3

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ALL FICS ARE THE ORIGINAL IDEAS AND WRITTEN WORKS OF NATEEZFICS. DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. REPOSTING WITHOUT CONSENT FROM THE AUTHOR NATEEZFICS IS PROHIBITED!

[thanxx1117]

4, 10 and 12 with hyunjae please 🥺 plot idkkkk maybe reader starting arguments on purpose and hyunjae snaps

I hope you like this! 🥰

Apologies for any misspelled words and incorrect grammar. 💋

You knew what you were getting into when agreeing to date Hyunjae. He came home late almost every night. Always tired after his long day of practice.

Most of the time when you would try and make a move after he got home he would turn you down saying he was too tired and when he didn't make an excuse and did agree you would be doing all the work. But not today.

You decided to start a fight. Why? Because angry Hyunjae is what you needed right now. You needed him to take control and for lack of a better term... Fuck you within an inch of your life. So here you are standing in front of the mirror taking yourself in.

HIS over sized t-shirt? Check

Hair up and out of the way? Check

No panties? Check

"Hey Y/N I'm home!" you hear him call from the living room and you put on your best fake angry face. You walk over to the door frame of your bedroom that faces the living room and lean on it.

Hyunjae is dressed in a pair of grey sweats and a black tee that hugs his body just the right way to have heat pooling at your center already. His hair is partially wet from the shower he probably took before heading home and you're about to abort mission and just ask him nicely when he yawns and that's your cue.

"Yup" you say walking past him into the kitchen not sparing him a look or the hug that he holds his arms out for.

"What's wrong Love?" he asks as he follows you into the kitchen. You decide to ignore him. What better way to get under his skin then to pretend he just isn't there. you try to walk past him when he grabs your wrist spinning you around. The look on his face can only be described as pure confusion.

"Nothing." you try to yank your arm away but his grip is too tight. "Now let go of me."

"Not until you tell me what's going on with you." his voice is so sweet. you almost hate to do this to him. Almost.

"You wanna know what's wrong?" the exasperation in your voice sounds so real you almost convince yourself that you're actually angry. "I'm so tired of being here doing everything for you and you refuse to acknowledge it. I'm cleaning the house. I'm making sure that everything is okay around here. And what are you doing?"

You give his a second to reply but all you get is the same confused look so you continue.

"You're out flirting with fans and having fun with the boys." he goes to speak but you cut him off with your closing statement hoping it works.

"And you can't even fuck me like you should."

"Watch your mouth." His eyes go dark. Tongue in cheek. Grip tightening. Your plan worked. He spins on his heels dragging you out of the kitchen behind him. You're about to say something when he sits down on the couch yanking you on top of him.

It's no time and he is crashing your lips into his with bruising force. One hand tangling in your hair while the other finds it's way between your legs. He pulls your hair to bring your face away from his and looks you straight in the eyes.

"No panties huh?" he says as he runs his thumb between your folds and smirks. "your awfully wet for someone who thinks I can't fuck them right."

"You still haven't proven you can." you show

He stands up with you in his arms. He turns around dropping you down onto the couch. His hands grab your knees opening them up. He kneels with one knee between your legs while his other foot stays placed on the floor beside the couch as he looms over you.

He hikes up your shirt above your breasts where he realizes you aren't wearing a bra either. He just scoffs and continues. He leans down connecting your lips. You're so wrapped up in the kiss that you don't realize that his hand is making its way up your thigh until he's running his middle finger over your entrance causing your hips to buck up.

" What are y-" he pulls away from the kiss and hushes you before pushing one finger into your entrance pushing it in and out with a fairly steady pace. A few minutes pass and pushing his ring finger in beside his middle. But instead of his previous in and out he pushes them as far as he can before making a come here motion rubbing right over your g-spot causing you to let out the loudest moan you've let out in awhile.

He gets the most evil smile on his face and picks up his pace. You can feel the build up in your lower stomach as you start to clutch around his fingers. His thumbs connects with your clit and your being thrown over the edge. Your back arches off the couch.

You start to come down but you noticed he's not stopping your starting to feel over stimulated when he swaps out the thumb on your clit for his tongue. The over stimulation is starting to be too much so you try to close your legs.

"open them back up." he demands after pulling his mouth away from you but still moving his fingers. You whine and shake your head no. "Don't make me repeat myself." He all but growls at you as one hand forces one of your knees into the couch.

You spread your legs and he dives back in with his tongue as he overstimulates you and you can feel another orgasm approaching. You close your eyes as it crashes over you stronger than the first. so distracted by it that you don't notice his free hand has freed himself from his jeans.

He removes his hand and mouth and you think that he's done punishing you but seconds later he's pushing his cock into you setting up a punishing pace right away.

"Hyunjae." you moan. He ignores. "Babe." you plead. He ignores. You try to push his hips away but he just pins them above your head with one hand. "Too much." the pleasure is mixed with the pain of overstimulation.

"You're the one who said I can't fuck you like I should. I'm just proving I can." He replies picking up the pace as tears start to come to your eyes. Part of you is ready to fess up that this was all a ruse but deep down you know that he knows.

Your pushed over the edge again and again he doesn't stop just leans over and envelops your mouth with his to muffle your wines and moans. Tears are freely falling down your cheeks when he pulls away. He looks down and take all of you in. Your bruised lips. Your swollen clit. Your tear stained cheeks with mascara running down them. he slows his thrusts

"Don't ever.." a deep thrust.

"Say I don't..." another deep thrust.

"know how to fuck you..." one more

"again" his hand grabs your throat with the perfect amount of pressure as he picks up his pace again. You nod not being able to talk from the amount of crying you're doing.

"I love when you cry for me." He leans in kissing you softer than you think he would and your cumming for a forth time and he's right behind you. The sexiest noise you've ever heard comes from low in his throat as his pace slows to help you both ride out your orgasms.

You lay there for awhile catching your breath before he silently gets up putting on going to the bathroom that's attached to the living room and returning with warm wet was cloths to clean you up with. You both stay silent until he's done and he looks up at you.

"So did you change your mind?" he says with the most mesmerizing smile ever.

"Shut up." You roll your eyes and try to stand up but your legs give out and you fall back onto the couch causing Hyunjae to laugh. You glare at him before you start to laugh too before cuddling up to him and drifting off to sleep.

[machiavelien]

Eat the Rich (Peter/MJ/Felicia x Hustlers AU)

Moodboard by & ficlet collab with @i-lovethatforme 💋

Rated M (not explicit!), CW: recreational drugs

MJ is working her way through grad school as a dancer because she's hot as fuck and she makes a lot of money. 

She works at the Gloom Room (ASM #59-60 lol), where it’s all flashing lights, beautiful half-naked people, and endlessly flowing champagne—on brand for an upscale club owned by Felicia Hardy. 

When she's dancing on stage, Felicia is mesmerizing ofc—it's not just her impossible body, but the way she takes control of the entire room: all eyes on her, everyone wants a piece of her but they're also afraid of her. 

MJ spends her time wondering how to be like that, especially as Felicia strides past her, dollar bills fluttering in her wake, and asks, "Doesn't money make you horny?"

MJ usually just serves drinks and gives the occasional lapdances on the floor, but one day Felicia asks her if she’s interested in working a VIP party with her: “Rich trust fund kid and his friends, easy stuff. Men are all the same wimpy fuckboys at heart.”

Starstruck but trying not to show it, MJ agrees, eventhough she’s never worked a VIP room before. She moves from behind the bar, the nerves settling in her stomach—it’s one thing to be envious of how Felicia moves onstage, and another having to do it herself.

Felicia reminds MJ of the club’s rules for private parties, but also mentions that her parties are a little different... 

“Listen kitten, you’re my favourite—you know that right?” and MJ isn’t so sure—but she’s not going to argue, so she just nods her head. “Good,” Felicia says, tucking a piece of hair behind MJ’s ear. “Because only my favourites get to play in the big leagues with me—and things are done a bit differently up here.”

MJ listens intently, feeling a little in over her head when Felicia explains that the drugs won’t do any permanent damage—these fuckboys are probably snorting worse on their own—and she’s only taking what she’s rightfully owed anyway. 

MJ thinks that maybe something has happened before—Felicia talks like she knows how bad some of these men are—and who is MJ to say she’s wrong? 

She can practically see the anger radiating off Felicia as she talks about the way rich dodgy fuckers think they can rule the world—while leaving so little for the rest of us. "The game is rigged, and it does not reward people who play by the rules."

"What if somebody calls the cops?" MJ asks.

"And says what? 'I spent five thousand dollars at a strip club, send help'?" Felicia laughs. "Look, this city—this whole country—is a strip club. You've got people tossing the money, and people doing the dance."

"I don't know, Felicia," MJ replies, worrying her lip between her teeth. 

"Don’t worry, I've got your back, kitty," Felicia purrs, tucking a curl behind MJ’s ear.

Michelle isn’t sure why she agrees in the end, but she does, and as she walks through the club, she can feel all eyes on her and it makes her feel powerful. 

The VIPs are younger than she’s expecting—probably around the same age as her. There’s an utter tool, Harry something, who seems to have spearheaded the event, throwing his money around like it means nothing. It probably doesn’t—he doesn’t look like he’s worked a day in his life—and she’s pretty sure his dad’s supposed to be someone famous for being rich. 

The tool keeps looking at MJ like she’s supposed to be the main course tonight, but she quickly figures out whose birthday it actually is: Peter, the one in the group who looks like he wants to be anywhere else but here. His eyes are flitting from one girl to the next like he’s looking for someone in particular, and she’s mad at herself for wanting his gaze to stay on her for longer than the two seconds he’s taking to look at everyone else. 

His eyes sweep over her, and before she has a chance to regret her outfit choice, his eyes are back on her—darker than before she thinks, but of course, it might be the very-intentionally darkened room. 

She bites her lip to hold back a smile—this is just a job. Routine. So she holds his gaze and counts to five before she moves over to him.

Peter rubs his palms up and down his thighs as she saunters over—making sure to sway her hips in the same way she watches Felicia walk on stage. She shoves the nerves and the feelings of inadequacy back down her throat and sits down next to him on the plush couch.

"Hey, birthday boy," she whispers, swinging one of her legs over the other, and leans in close. He smells like a cologne she won't forget for the next week.

"Hey," he replies, moving his arm like he might place it on the couch behind her, but then he freezes, changing his mind. Before her ego can take a hit, he adds, "Sorry, this isn't my usual scene—I mean, I've just never been to a place like this before… it's really fancy," and she realizes he's just nervous. Cute. Not as nervous as she is, though—not with what she’ll have to do to him tonight.

Her gaze flicks over to Felicia where she's commanding the attention of the rest of the group with the other girls. Felicia winks at MJ and asks who wants to do a round of shots with her, and who gets to “break in the new girl” with a predatory grin. The little vial of Felicia’s ketamine and molly concoction weighs heavily on MJ, from where it’s tucked into her cleavage.

MJ feels like she’s sleepwalking as she leads Peter up the stairs, the pink lights reflecting off the glittering crystal chandelier curtain that separates them from the rest of the party. At least his hand feels as clammy as she does while she tugs him into their private room.

"Do you know the rules?" asks MJ, pouring out their champagne into two flutes. Peter shakes his head, so she pushes him down to sit. "You can't touch me, only I can touch you. But if you want me to stop, say ‘spider-man’. Got it?"

“What? Why would that—um,” Peter chokes out, his voice almost cracking as he shifts uncomfortably.

“Don’t be jealous,” says MJ, rolling her eyes. “The club owner’s a fan or something, just relax.” 

Peter nods and settles back in the sumptuous velvet seat, his hands resting patiently on his thighs as he watches her. 

"And the cameras are always on," she adds sternly, pointing at a corner in the ceiling, "whether or not you're into that sort of thing."

"You're the boss," he breathes out when she smooths her hands up his thighs to part his legs slightly.

"You got that right, Tiger,” she leans in to whisper in his ear, “And you can call me Mary Jane."

“Mary Jane…” he repeats softly, his eyes never leaving hers.

It’s too much—if she stares at him any longer, she’s going to lose her nerve and piss off Felicia. So MJ stands up and turns around so he can only see her backside—feeling a surge of confidence as she hears Peter's sharp inhale. Her hands barely shake as she retrieves the vial and empties the dangerous liquid into his drink.

Maybe she can drag this out and stall as long as she can, so she gives Peter an agonizingly slow striptease. Playfully pulling up her top like she’s about to take it off, hips gyrating with the music, shaking her long hair out. Peter’s eyes are raking her up and down, and she feels like her body’s on fire.

MJ has never gone topless on the job before, but now, alone with Peter, she finds herself slowly unclasping her bralette, back facing him as she teases him with the sight of the lace dropping to the floor. He groans behind her.

Looking back at him over her shoulder, she sees Peter gripping his knees, knuckles white.

"Face it, Tiger, you just hit the jackpot tonight," she teases, and as cheesy as it sounded in her head, her words make Peter chuckle lightly, even as his eyes seem to plead with her.

Rolling her hips, she runs her hands up and down her sides so he can imagine himself touching her, groping her like she knows he wants to. Like she hopes he wants to.

She's trying to ignore the intrusive thoughts that say she's not good enough for this, that she's not hot enough, that she should have stayed behind the bar. Because she's been grinding herself on Peter's lap for the past few minutes and he can't stop making small talk at her—asking how long she’s been working at the club, if she happens to know parkour (what?), if she likes expensive jewelry and rare artwork (which was the least weird question, at least while she’s got her tits in his face), and the weirdest question:

"Have you seen anything strange around the club lately? Like maybe Spider-man chasing down the Black Cat here or something?"

"What?"

"Nevermind," he mumbles.

He's clearly getting something out of this if the hard-on she's working herself against is anything to go by, but she's a little more interested in getting a real response out of him, not recounting if she's ever been to the roof of Sothebey’s Auction House. 

Michelle wonders if maybe he thinks he knows her, with these probing questions he keeps asking, or if he’s mistaken her for someone else? But she'd remember if she's seen him before, and honestly, her thighs are burning, so she thinks, fuck it.

"You remember the codeword, right?" She asks, flirtatious tones forgotten as she relaxes her muscles and sinks fully into his lap.

"Yeah—I mean, yes," he replies, eyes wide and looking younger than he has the entire time he's been here. His fingers flex like he wants to touch her.

"So you know if you don't want to be here, you don't have to be?" she asks, hands hanging around his neck as he lifts his upper body off the couch.

"I know. I want to be here, it’s just… Can I touch you now?" he whispers in her ear, warm breath against her neck.

"Only because you've been good," says MJ, her heart racing.

"Where can I touch you?"

Michelle thinks about Felicia and how she can command a stage and the attention of anyone in the room without them touching her. But then she thinks about how badly she wants Peter to touch her. She brushes her lips over his. "Where do you want to touch me?" she asks.

He maintains eye contact as he brings his hands to her thighs, slowly moving until his thumbs run along the edge of her booty shorts, and she can’t help how wet that’s making her. MJ thinks his thumbs might dip under the lace, but before she can edge him on, he moves his hands away to grab handfuls of her ass—squeezing and groaning as she moves her hips. 

"Not doing enough for you?" she gasps as he shifts underneath her, hitting all the right spots. 

"You're perfect, just wanted to touch you," he says with pink cheeks. She can feel him throbbing underneath her, the heat straining against his pants.

Michelle rolls her neck, letting her hair sweep down her back—and Peter takes advantage of the exposed skin to press kisses to the column of her throat.

When she tugs his shirt up and feels the hard ripple of his abs beneath, MJ lets out an involuntary gasp that makes him smirk. 

"Shut up," she says, her fingers not missing a beat as she continues unbuttoning his shirt.

"I didn't say anything," Peter says, still grinning at her like an asshole.

Just as she’s about to deal with his belt, Felicia joins them and offers the birthday boy a “double surprise”

"I got the rest of them passed out downstairs," she whispers to MJ, "and their little ringleader's black AmEx."

While they’re dancing and grinding up on each other, putting on a show for the increasingly flustered Peter, Felicia asks MJ why she’s taking so long with him. MJ whispers back that she’s not sure about following through with the hustle anymore.

“Okay, fine! I’m wussing out, okay?” MJ hisses back, pissed off even while her hand is caressing the other woman and stroking her back. “Fucking hell, Felicia. This is so fucked up.”

Felicia rolls her eyes, sliding her leg in between MJ’s thighs. “Whatever, princess. I’ll take care of the birthday boy for you, okay?” 

MJ doesn’t like the idea of Felicia taking over and seducing Peter, and fights her attempts to convince him to drink his drugged champagne. 

Peter seems very confused but MJ can still see the tent in his pants, so she figures he's still turned on while he watches them.

His eyes widen when Felicia says, "I've got it from here, kitten," even though he shouldn’t be able to hear her inaudible whisper. So MJ thinks he's figured out the answer to his increasingly weird questions—not that she has a clue what's going on. Asking someone if they land on their feet when they fall over is fucking weird, and she only let him get away with it because his embarrassed face is cute.

Either they're not being particularly sly, caressing each other while stage whispering—or Peter isn't dumb as a bag of rocks because he panics and his glass goes flying.

When he catches the champagne flute before it shatters on the floor, Felicia curses but then morphs her frustration into her patented smirk, "and I wasn't even planning on catching a spider tonight."

As Peter and Felicia each adopt defensive stances and stare combatively at each other, MJ thinks she should have stayed behind the bar, instead of standing there with her nips out and wondering, "What the actual fuck is going on?!"

Etc.

[eddysocs]

Sext Blocked (Zari Tarazi x OC)

Summary: Five times Ines and Zari try to sext only to get interrupted by the team, and one time Zari can’t take it anymore.

Word Count: 1,218

Warnings: Sexting, sexual frustration

1. Sara

Sitting alone in the control room, Ines and Zari were finding it difficult to pass the time with nothing to do for once. So, Zari got an idea. She pulled out her phone and sent Ines a text.

Hey, Sexy

Ines heard her phone ping at the message and took it out to check it, surprised to find the message from Zari, seated only a few feet away. She smirked at Zari before turning her attention back to her phone.

Hello, Beautiful, she replied, hitting send.

Wanna know what I’m thinking?

You know it 😉

I’m thinking we could go to my room and… Zari began typing, ready to outline a list of dirty thoughts that were running through her mind when mid sentence, Sara came barreling in, announcing that they had a timeline thing to fix before history gets irreparably fucked again, and Zari groaned, shutting her phone off reluctantly. Can’t sext in the middle of a mission after all. They had a bad enough time not screwing things up as it was. Ines frowned but did the same. Maybe later, they both thought.

2. Mick

After the exhausting mission came to its conclusion, everyone returned to the Waverider, tired and dirty from a nasty fight in the west during the worst of the dust bowl era. Zari came out of the shower, all fresh and clean, finding Ines in the ship's lounge area, and deciding what better time than now to pick up where they left off.

Been thinking about you all day, Zari sent.

At seeing another text from Zari, Ines lit up with a smile, albeit a tired one. I’ve been thinking about you too. Actually, about you covered in nothing but dust and my hands.

Zari had to laugh at that, a soft titter that was just loud enough for Ines to hear at the other end of the couch. Ines grinned, happy that the mood wasn’t lost because of the joke. Sorry, no dust, but I wouldn’t mind having your hands on me.

As they texted back and forth for another minute, Mick came thundering in, beer in hand and plopped between the two of them on the couch, swigging the beverage, downing at least a good half of it in one go, then letting out a rather loud belch. And that was enough to ruin the mood.

3. Behrad

Ines was off helping Ava and John on a small mission that didn’t require the whole team. Something simple for once, even for the Legends, but Zari couldn’t help but make things possibly a little more difficult by sending Ines a text.

When are you coming back? I don’t think I can wait much longer.

When he text remained unanswered, for several minutes, Zari decided to take it up a notch. I’m wearing something special for you. Your favorite.

The red and gold? The text came back in record time. Zari knew that always got her, no matter what she was doing. Can I see?

Zari went to get a good angle, found her lighting and started to unbutton her top when a knock interrupted. Quickly covering back up, Zari feigned casualness as Behrad entered. Knowing her brother, Zari realized it wasn’t going to be a short visit. So she sent Ines a text of apology.

Sorry, Behrad just busted in. Later, promise. 💋

Ines breathed out a dejected sigh. It was always something.

4. Zari 1.0

As Sara and Ava were going over strategy plans, Zari and Ines were only half listening. Sticking to the back of the group, they were having their own private conversation.

Can’t wait for tonight. 💦

Ines smiled down at her phone. So they were at it again, were they? If we ever get a little alone time. 🤣

Yeah? And if we were alone, what would you do?

Ines considered it a moment. She had so many options come to mind that she couldn’t quite settle on one. When she finally picked one to go with, she began typing it out, seeing Zari look at her phone with anticipation of what she’d say next.

"Zari," came Ava's voice, breaking through Zari's reverie.

Zari slid her phone into her pocket with a "Hmm?" in reply to Ava.

"We're going to need Zari 1.0's expertise for this one. You think you can switch places with her in the totem for a while?"

Zari's face fell for the briefest of seconds. Foiled yet again. "Sure, yeah. Of course," she replied. Missions always came first. And at this point, everything was getting kind of tiring and she could actually use the break.

5. John and Astra

Zari sat on one end of John's couch and Ines sat on the other. Their knees slightly bent, so their feet overlapped a bit in the middle. They were happy to have the time to sneak away to John's mansion using the time courier. It had been nonstop interruptions for them, and despite being in the same room yet again, they continued their little game of sexting, hoping to actually get somewhere this time before anyone could interrupt them again.

Love your dress, Ines began, innocently enough.

I only bought it so you could take it off, Zari flirted.

Did you just quote Taylor Swift to me? 😂

Would it matter if I did? Zari began to run her foot along Ines' leg and Ines melted at the simple touch. It seemed like forever since they’d been able to even show such a small sign of intimacy.

Jarring them away from each other was the loud slam of the mansion's door opening, followed very quickly by the sound of John and Astra arguing. Zari and Ines exchanged an irritated look with one another before the magicians were able to spot them. "Oh, what are you guys doing here," Astra asked.

"Apparently nothing," Zari snapped. "For the, what, fifth time?"

"Zari," Ines warned. She knew tensions were high, she felt pretty high strung herself, but it wasn’t going to be good for anyone to start arguing. Yet that didn’t stop her.

"Can’t I just have one day off? Every time I try to enjoy myself someone has to come along and ruin it!"

+1. The Final Straw

While John was about to reply, the rest of the team walked in the open door and Zari exploded, getting up from the couch and yelling at the lot of them. "Oh, that’s it! If I see any of your faces for the rest of the day, I will claw them off!" Though it was a threat, it sounded like more of a promise.

Zari then surprised Ines by reaching down and taking her hand, pulling her up off of the couch and to the staircase. "We're going to be upstairs having sex and if any of you wish to interrupt, then be my guest, I fucking dare you. I’m sick of getting sext blocked by all of you idiots."

Ines' cheeks reddened, as Zari continued to pull her along behind her. The two of them soon disappeared, making for one of the bedrooms on the second floor as the team stood slack jawed at what had just happened. "Alright," Sara finally stated, "no one piss off Zari when she’s horny. Good to know."

Ines Powell: @borg-queer, @chickensarentcheap, @smutember

[princesscrownprince]

💋💋💋💋💋💋 (( I think you know who needs to kiss Rooks right now. ))

🎀 NSFW CONTENT : 18+ 🎀

It was too quiet.

These past few days and weeks have been too quiet. Not a word, nor a sound was heard from the other side. Which was supposedly a good thing, but it wasn't. Lukas knew this very well. That man wouldn't let him go so easily. After all, he is his possession. Lukas has something that man needs, so it was without a doubt, that man would never let him go.

A pale hand moved towards his chest, clutching his black coat as he quietly felt his hearts beat to a rhythm. There was more than one beat; a follow up, so to speak. Lukas housed both his heart and another, the latter being the supposed owner of his body. And it was exactly that heart his father, Zweig, needed in his possession. Lukas was nothing but a vessel; a hollow doll made for this heart to take over and consume his own soul. And it was something Lukas refused to give up to anyone.

His hand returned to his side.

He has given his body, his sanity, and his mind to the hands of Zweig. He cannot afford to give up his own soul to him as well.

It has always been that way.

He gives, and gives, and gives until there was nothing left of him to call his own. It sometimes made him wonder if this body was actually his or not. If this is actually the body he was born in, or was he a wandering soul that ended possessing this body, kicking away the initial owner from its own right.

Lukas wanted to say he's scared. He wanted to feel fear from those frightening thoughts and possibilities, but he couldn't, for he has given the ability to feel fear as well.

What more would Lukas give, and have nothing in return?

What more would be stolen away from him?

This twisted mind and body that he wished to call his own, only produced twisted results at every moment he has given up something of himself.

Though, he had only hoped, that one thing he treasures the most in his primary heart would never reach a point wherein he would have to give it up as well.

That one thing, was a someone.

Someone dear; someone he found himself genuinely caring for without any useless conditions between them.

Someone he wished to call his own.

Lukas would be damned if he has to give him up as well, yet he was ready to give him up, if it meant making him happy and less miserable with him.

For Lukas was a poisonous man; an aconitum that beautifully blooms on a warm summer's day. Beautiful and delicate, yet deadly and poisonous. Being with Lukas meant dealing with all his poison and constrictive grasps; a viper who yearned nothing more but true love. But, he was also a viper, who lets go before he bites.

All these thoughts, all these feelings, only elicited confusion within Lukas' mind and so, he shook. He shook it all away and pushed it aside.

He cannot dwell on his mind like this, and he despises it when he does. For that wasn't Lukas to him.

Lukas was a jolly man, playful yet cheeky. Cunning, but naive.

Lukas, in a sense, was not sad nor lost. He was in control, and knows what he wants. Lukas is not a child screaming for help. Lukas is a man who carefreely smiles at anything thrown at him.

But in the end... who exactly is Lukas?

Vibrations snapped him out of his thoughts.

It was a different scent, yet it was familiar enough to Lukas to pinpoint that the group of people standing behind him were no human nor Vampire, they were snakes.

His father's snakes.

With a dash, Lukas quickly darted away from his fellow Viboras, the group following suit.

Finally, his father made his move, and Lukas anticipated it, and he supposed, he should thank them for snapping him out of his head. This thrill oughta keep him in control. Or so he thought.

"Your royal highness! His majesty seeks your return immediately!" his chasers exclaimed.

" I'm very aware of that! " Lukas replied back, swiftly turning around with a flash bomb in hand. He smirked, " But unfortunately, I'd like an extension of my summer vacation! "

Albeit he could take them on himself, six versus one isn't exactly a fair game, now is it? Besides, he wouldn't dare disrupt the peacefulness of this world. Humans aren't ready for them, and it's best that they aren't.

With a flick of his wrist, the bomb exploded into a cloud of dust and dirt, masking his appearance as it messed with his chasers' senses, rendering them confused and disoriented. Courtesy to Kai's alchemy skills. The latter believed they should be prepared in case Lukas was suddenly scouted. Very much like his current situation right now.

The prince then hastened his actions, stripping off his black coat to reveal a beige, turtleneck sweater underneath before sprinting out of the forest and towards the streets of Japan.

His heels clicked at every step, wind blowing past his face as his eyes darted around his area for any means of disguise.

"Pardon me!" he exclaimed, expeditiously reaching a hand towards a woman he would soon pass by, snatching off her scarf and sun hat with a quick apology. Ignoring her calls of alarm and shock, Lukas wrapped the black scarf around his head, masking his dark vanilla hair before placing the sun hat on top.

Disguise... disguise... I need a disguise...

His eyes suddenly widened in surprise at the sight he saw before him.

Ruki...?!

Spotting the Vampire on his route, Lukas quickly thought of a plan to ward off his pursuers. He mentally apologized to his friend as the latter seemed to be grocery shopping for his kitchen, and yet Lukas planned to use the Vampire for his own getaway.

He had no choice.

If he continued running towards his hotel suite, the effects of the flash bomb would have worn off before he could barely place a foot inside the reception area.

If he stopped and idly walked around like a civilian, there was no telling if his chasers would tap his shoulder to ask about his whereabouts.

He needed a disguise, and a busy one at that.

Once again, he mentally apologized to Ruki.

Nearing the Vampire's form, Lukas wasted no time to grab the other's collar, dragging him towards a secluded area near the grocery store he came out of.

"Don't ask." He abruptly mumbled, hurriedly shoving the other against a wall, and with a tilt of his hat to cover his eyes, Lukas locked his lips with the other.

Surely, no one would bother a kissing 'couple.'

Lukas stared into Ruki's eyes apologetically, deepening the kiss when he felt the familiar vibrations near him.

He needed to act naturally, for Viboras had a keen eye for deceit. Deception, after all, is common amongst their clan. It was almost a prominent trait of theirs, and thus, they were experts when it comes to pointing out lies from the truth.

Pressing his own body closer, Lukas' lips moved expertly, slightly tensing at the nearing vibrations of his chasers. This caused him to push his tongue inside without a warning. A small moan slipping past their locked lips.

Whether it was a real moan or not, it surely made passerbys hasten their steps, for they weren't looking forward to disrupt their intimate moment.

It was then Lukas slowly succumbed into the taste of Ruki's mouth.

It was hesitant at first, flinching back when he felt his own tongue touch the other's. But slowly, he got a feel of it. Licking the other's tongue, Lukas soon felt his entire being wanting more.

Delectable... Ruki tastes delectable... More... I want more...

With a low groan, Lukas eyes turned into a daze, completely enraptured in devouring Ruki's mouth. The initial thought of his chasers, entirely obliterated from his mind, the moment his tongue caressed the other's wet appendage. His saliva, his fangs, that unsure and startled tongue of his... drew Lukas into a trance, intoxicating his mind from all his previous worries and concerns.

Ruki felt like a drug; an addicting drug that somehow had the effect to diminish everything within Lukas' space and solely focused on the two of them.

And with that, he wanted more.

He lapped and greedily surged his tongue inside. It was as if he was coaxing Ruki to dance along with him. This intimate and wet dance of his. To feel and to taste him more, Lukas slowly pulled away with a thin line of saliva connecting them. However, he wasn't done yet.

The blush adorning his face, the shocked and agitated look of bewilderment from Lukas' sudden actions only enticed the viper more.

With a hazy mind and a click of his tongue, Lukas wore an expression of shame.

He knew he should stop. He knew he shouldn't continue on. He knew that he should pull away, apologize and hope their friendship wasn't entirely broken because of his foolish actions.

The only thing he treasured aside from his brother. It was this very thing that Lukas never hoped to give up so soon. Not this way, and most certainly, not at all. And yet here he stood, tightly gripping Ruki's collar as he caged the Vampire with his body, preventing him from any means of escape as he contemplated his actions.

He got lost in there.

For Ruki's taste and tongue diminished any self-control he had at that moment. It nearly worried Lukas that he would lose himself in the pleasure; pleasure that Ruki may not wanted to be part of.

It was, after all, forced and done without any explanation.

However, with just one look back at Ruki's face, Lukas felt his resolve to pull away crumble. The Vampire was simply too enticing to let go so easily, and Lukas wanted nothing more but to sink his fangs into his skin and hold the other in his constrictive grasp, injecting his poison into the other; to pull him into his pit as his own possession.

He wanted Ruki at that very moment, and with a quick snap of his eyes towards his lips, Lukas felt himself lurch forward to capture Ruki's lips with his own, muffling his own moan

His hand on Ruki's collar soon loosened, only to reach for the man's wrists, pining his hands above his head, lacking care for the fallen grocery bag on the floor. It was not important right now. What's important, was Ruki's delicious mouth and body against his. To which, Lukas stepped forward to grind his own crotch upon the other. It elicited a low, muffled whine between their lips.

Everything sounded quiet around them. The footsteps near their hiding place, the bustling chatter of the people passing them, the loud horns of vehicles and its raging motors all sounded quiet to them. As if they were the only people on the world right now; in the Garden of Eden, where Adam tempted the snake with his own apple of sin.

It enthralled and captivated the snake to bite into the forbidden fruit he currently calls their relationship.

What were they after this? Would they still be friends? Would things be awkward? Would Lukas have to give him up too?

The snake didn't want to ponder, eliminating those thoughts with Ruki's tongue upon his.

Desperate and afeared, Lukas deepened the kiss once more. He felt as though, if he pulls away the second time, the man he held against the wall would disappear and never want him anymore. And Lukas, wasn't ready for that to happen just yet.

Just a little more... be mine for just a little more.., he chanted within his swirling mind, just a little more... before you want me gone...

Moaning at the pressure his crotch felt against Ruki's own lower region, Lukas guided Ruki's tongue towards him before sucking on the wet appendage as if it were something else but a tongue. His free hand moved behind the other, forcing Ruki to arch his back so his hand could cup his ass firmly, his fingers rubbing in between. This action caused Lukas to grind their clothed crotch together, all while consuming his saliva and mouth. Muffled moans and groans evoked from their heated and intimate actions.

And though Lukas wanted more, he knew it was time to part away before something else occurs between them. He wouldn't go that far, more so he couldn't. Not to Ruki. And surprisingly, Ruki was the very first person Lukas has ever kissed. He would deny others, and would even resort to physical actions if they insisted. Lukas never wanted anyone's lips against his, that was until he got a taste of Ruki, and if only he could admit it, he would have said he wouldn't mind doing it again to feel that intoxication and haze, that only Ruki has ever made him feel. It was an emotion he craved to experience again, but he knew that this might as well be the very last time he would be able to experience it. For Lukas felt he needs to let go of this one too.

His only treasure, destroyed by no other than himself.

Stepping away from the wet kiss, Lukas let the other go. He blinked himself back to reality as he hadn't even noticed his pursuers had already lost track of him a couple of minutes ago. Ruki had truly enraptured him at that moment. That image of his blushing stunned face remained within Lukas' mind, taking record of every single taste, sight, sound, and feeling of Ruki at that moment. A record Lukas himself felt too ashamed to capture. But what more could he lose at this point?

Pursing his lips as he averted his gaze from the other, a blush of his own dusted his cheeks in embarassment. He then cleared his throat after a moment of silence, chuckling half-heartedly as he looked back at Ruki with a face of shame.

"That... wasn't supposed to happen."

His hearts loudly thumped with a rhythm, resounding to his ears for him to listen. The adrenaline rush of that moment still kicked him in the guts, but he was sure that it wasn't just an adrenaline rush that's causing his hearts to beat faster than they should. It wasn't just an adrenaline rush that's causing him to crave more and suddenly feel self-conscious of his own actions. Lukas gave nervous smile.

"My deepest apologies. Can we... forget about this?"

Poor Lukas.

He doesn't know what to do.

He wanted to apologize and seek what he could do to make up for his actions, but at the same time he didn't feel any regret doing that, for it was an experience of a life time.

It was despicable of him.

Unbecoming of a prince and a person.

He felt conflicted.

He felt lost.

And for the first time he felt, without knowing what it's called...

Lukas was scared to lose Ruki.

[anon911andbuddie]

Buck Begins

So...this is what I’ve been working on for the past week and a half. I hope that the show will expand on even some of the things we’ve been gifted through the show! Here’s my take. Also, the ending is kind of trash, so...sorry in advance.

-Red💋

Warnings: cursing, bad parenting, self deprecation, dissociation, past trauma, descriptions of past trauma, Evan Buckley definitely needs a hug, hurt children, minor character deaths, traumatic calls involving kids

Seeing them, the world fell away. He thought he had left them behind when he left Hershey. He hadn’t wanted to see them again. It was no secret that he hadn’t had the best childhood growing up. His parents weren’t bad people, they just weren’t meant to be parents. But standing there, Evelyn and James Buckley brought back every bad memory of his childhood. On top of the day he was having, Buck wasn’t sure he would be able to handle the chat they were here to have. 

_______________

The day started like any other. Buck woke up, sent Eddie a text about something he’d researched the previous day, and made a protein shake. He went out on a run, returning in an hour to shower and get ready for work. Before leaving his apartment, he checked his phone to see Eddie had replied to his text asking why he’d be researching the logistics of helicopters along with saying he’d be missing work because Christopher was sick. With that, Buck had wished the little boy well and told Eddie to text him if he needed anything though his mood dimmed at the knowledge he’d be without Eddie for the day. Then, he’d left for work. 

The start of the shift was slow. By the time they’d gotten their first call, the trucks had been washed down and the bay cleaned. It was weird not to work with Eddie. They’d become attached at the hip at work. Partners that didn’t need to talk to communicate to one another. One look and they knew what the other was thinking. Without him, Buck felt weird, as he tended to feel on the rare occasions they worked opposite shifts. The feeling that Buck was having as they left for their first call was different than the one he usually has on days without Eddie. He’s dreading the call...something feels off about it all. 

Cardiac events are a typical call for firemen. Buck and Eddie would help on crowd control while Chim and Hen did their thing with the patient...but it wasn’t a normal patient. A fifteen year old kid suffering a cardiac event. The crowd was dense, but they stayed back respectfully while Chim and Hen worked. Buck turned to watch. The kid had barely started their life out, and his heart had stopped. Chim and Hen tried to resuscitate, but the boy was long gone. The ride back to the station had been a dark silence. 

The next call wasn’t much better. Two twin nine year old girls had been dared to go into the condemned building at the end of their street to prove themselves not to be cowards. One of the twins had found a weak spot in the floor and fell through. The other had gone to get help. Looking down at the nonresponding twin as he was hooked up, Buck couldn’t help but think of Chris. What if one of his ‘friends’ dared him to do something this stupid? Chris never wanted to disappoint anyone...he could put himself in danger just as these twins had. 

It didn’t help the rescue that the rope snapped halfway down to get the girl, causing Buck to think quickly in order not to crush the prone nine year old on his way down. The way she had fallen, she’d gone through two floors before hitting the basement. The first floor wasn’t stable enough for the winch system so they had set up shop on the second floor meaning Buck was almost on the first floor when the rope snapped. 

After assurances that he was alright, nothing was broken, he’d just have some bruising, Buck was back focusing on the nine year old. She hadn’t woken in his fall. She was still breathing, thank God. Buck had attached a neck brace and harness by the time another rope was sent down. He’d been quick in getting the girl attached to the rope and had been sure to stand under her in case the rope she was attached to decided to give way as his had. Thankfully, the girl was fine as she reached the second floor and Bobby helped Hen to get her loaded on a backboard and taken out of the building. In record time, Buck was being checked out by Chim to make sure nothing was out of place after his fall. The nine year old was fine, but that didn’t stop Buck’s thoughts from wondering to Chris, making a note to talk to the little man about acceptable dares and what not. 

The crew barely had enough time to eat lunch before another call came in. This had them responding to a rollercoaster malfunction. Buck hated rollercoaster calls. Ever since he had to watch as he couldn’t save the man he’d tried so hard to save. Had to watch as he fell...as he hit the ground. As they pulled up to the scene, Buck tensed. He really hated rollercoasters. It looked much like that rescue two years ago...and Buck didn’t want to fail again. 

Most of the rescue went fine until they had fifty percent of the passengers off. Metal started to creak, things shifted and a couple of victims were left hanging on for dear life as the bar securing them came loose. And fuck if Buck wasn’t getting flashbacks. They needed to work faster. Hen and Chim were trying their hardest to get those who had lost their support and Buck was trying to keep the others calm as he worked to free them. He didn’t want a repeat of last time. He refused for that to be the outcome of this rescue. 

Nothing else went wrong until they were down to two passengers. There was no way for Buck to release the bar and get them both out without one of them falling. He could see the male, no older than sixteen, wasn’t faring well. His friend, again sixteen at most, was pleading with Buck to save him. She didn’t care what happened to her, she just wanted him to live. And fuck if Buck couldn’t feel tears building behind his eyelids. He couldn’t see how he would be able to save both of them. 

In the end, Bobby had set up an inflatable rescue mat to catch the teen Buck couldn’t grab. Buck wanted to find a silver lining in the rescue, but even he knew a fall from this height, especially if she couldn’t correct herself to fall on her back, would likely kill her. He explained all of this to her and she took it in stride, giving him a wet smile and telling him that it would be worth it if her friend lived. 

Buck had lost both of them. 

The second Buck had released the bar and grabbed onto the sixteen year old closest to him, the teen had started to fight him. He had shouted that if she died, he deserved to die with her. His struggling ended with Buck flipping over the side of the machinery he was on, his clip straining against the jostling of keeping himself and the teen from falling. The basket he was in had groaned at the change in weight distribution...then the teen had twisted his arm painfully-something he hadn’t expected-and Buck’s grip had loosened in surprise. 

The teen fell.

He lost them both.

_______________

Eddie had updated him throughout the shift on how Chris was doing. It seemed Superman was getting better as the day went on. That made Buck’s day a little better, but it also made him miss the Diaz boys more. Eddie would ask how the shift was going, but Buck would circle around the whole thing and comment on the dumb things Chim and Hen would say inbetween their calls. 

If Eddie could tell something was wrong, he didn’t let on through the texts he sent. So Buck spent his down time looking at pictures of Christopher, Eddie, and the three of them together. Buck was having a horrible shift and only wanted to be with his boys...but, as always, Karma had its way and he was stuck on the shift from Hell.

The calls they had through the night were tamer than the start of their shift. That’s why Buck thought that the shift from hell was almost over. That’s why he thought he was safe until he had to come back in for his next shift...that’s why he was looking up to stopping by the Diaz household to bring Chris some of Bobby’s Cure Soup that worked magic on any sickness. That’s why he hadn’t been expecting to see them. The two people in the world that were supposed to love him unconditionally and protect him because he was their son...the two people who had no right to call themselves parents because they had never been parents to Maddie or Buck. They were never meant to be parents.

The funny thing is, they had to show up after his water rescue. That brought up memories of the day on the pier when the wall of water had smashed into him, separating him from Chris. The water rescue caused him to remember how he had failed Christopher and Eddie...and he needed time to get himself together so that he could show up at the Diaz household with a bright smile to hide all of his pain behind. Even funnier, he felt like he was drowning again. Because these were two problems he thought he had put behind him, but here they are. 

“Can I help you,” Bobby asked, ever the calming presence in the Firehouse. 

“Evan, it’s been so long,” his mother smiled, ignoring the captain and stepping closer to Buck. 

Buck took an involuntary step back. “What are you doing here,” he asked, voice sounding funny in his own ears.

“Is that anyway to treat us after having not seen us in ten years,” his father questioned.

“How did you find me,” he felt himself slowly slipping away. The voices around him sounded muffled. He didn’t feel like himself, he felt a kind of numb he hadn’t felt since the aftermath of the truck bombing. 

“Evan, show a little respect. We’re your parents,” Evelyn responded. 

Buck couldn’t help but to laugh. “Parents love their kids. They do anything for their children and they are proud of their children’s accomplishments. A child isn’t a trophy you show off when your friends visit and forget about until the next time a friend comes by for a visit.” Buck laughed again, though it sounded like it came from someone other than himself. “But I guess not all adults can switch into a parenting role. If that’s all, I have a job to do.”

“You seem to have forgotten your manners, Evan. I suggest you remember them,” James stepped closer, a glare on his face that reminded Buck of all the times he’d failed to meet his father’s expectations or interrupted one of his father’s conference calls. 

_______________

Evan was six when he realized that his parents weren’t like other parents. Other parents would proudly show off their kid’s artwork. They would brag to their friends that their kid was going to be an artist when they grew up or brag that their kid was so smart, they would go on to do great work in the science field. 

Evan’s parents didn’t do that. It never failed that every Mother’s day and Father’s day from when he was six until he was ten (when he finally just stopped), his parents would tell him that he could create a better homemade card or join Maddie in buying a card. They would say that the drawings that he gave them would need work in order to be put up anywhere in the house. They would say that his childish drawings looked unprofessional and messy-Buckley’s were pristine and didn’t do messy. 

No matter what Evan did, it was never good enough for his parents. As he got older, his parents started to let him know how displeased they were in him. Maddie, having experienced it before him, tried to shield him from it, but she was ten years older than him and not always able to be there for him. By the time he was in middle school, Maddie was in college for nursing and never around. She’d taken a couple of years before going to college before she couldn’t take the constant belittlement of her parents-they’d tell her she would never do anything in her life, that she was a disappointment, letting all of her schooling go to waste. 

Evan was alone. ‘He wasn’t good enough. His grades needed work. He would never be as smart as his sister. He needed to show initiative. Stop playing around, he should have been studying. Girlfriend? Not until he had his life sorted out. Boyfriend? Absolutely not, he was a disgrace. He was misguided. How had Evelyn and James Buckley been unlucky enough to be stuck with a son that liked other boys?’

Evan had never been good enough. No matter how hard he tried to please them. ‘A ninety-nine isn’t a perfect A. University of Pennsylvania isn’t Harvard. Fire Science isn’t a respectable degree.’

Evan had thought that the SEALs would make his parents proud. He tried out for the SEALs, he went through training, but it still wasn’t enough. Then he’d dropped out. That had been the icing on the cake. 

Evan had never had a big blowout with his parents. He’d always tried to appease them. He tried to be the perfect son...but they never thought he was good enough. So when he dropped out of the SEALs, having a shouting match with his father as a consequence, he left for South America. He bartended and had fun. Then he’d gone to LA and became a firefighter and he hadn’t contacted his parents since the blowout. 

_______________

With all the training he’d gone through when he was trying to be a SEAL, Buck should have been able to block out what he was feeling...keep himself from floating away, but staring at the middle aged adults in front of him, Buck wanted nothing more than to be able to float far away from them. 

Conversation seemed to be going on around him, but Buck couldn’t focus on it. He was living a nightmare. He’d never wanted his crew to meet his genetic donors. He never wanted them to meet because that meant they’d be able to see just how fucked up he was on the inside...because no matter how hard he tried, his parents would undo everything he’s built and he wouldn’t be able to hide it all from his team...his family.

Everything was so distant. Maybe if he kept this distance, his parents wouldn’t be able to ruin everything. Buck was only brought out of his head when he heard the alarm blare overhead. As if on autopilot, Buck (still in his soaked uniform) put his turnout gear on and piled into the truck. He needed to get away from his parents. The farther away he was, the less they could hurt him. 

No one tried to talk to him on the way to the site. Or, if they did, Buck didn’t hear them. Pulling up to the call, he did his job, no emotions getting in the way. A kid had been playing on piles of gravel and had started to be sucked into the pile. Buck went under to get the kid, feeling the last bit of his control over his body slipping away. None of it mattered anymore. He liked not feeling the emotions around him. It helped him to focus on the important things-like saving a kid from a pile of gravel. 

On the way back to the station, no one talked to him. The shift was finally over and Buck could go to his apartment and block everything out. Going through the routine of leaving the station was easy. He paid no mind to the sperm and egg donors that were still trying to talk to him. He stared at them passively as they blocked his exit from the locker room. Were they seriously going to block him from leaving? Couldn’t they tell he didn’t give a shit about them being back? Couldn’t they tell that they were unwanted? 

“Excuse me. Hi. Buck, Chris is waiting for you in the car, he’s excited to show you the artwork he worked on this morning for you,” his best friend smiled tensely as if he could pick up on the messed up family dynamics in the room. 

Buck merely stared at him before giving a small nod and following Eddie out. His parents gave them a wide berth, but called out something along the lines of their conversation not being over. Buck didn’t really care, he just wanted to be alone in his loft. “See you tomorrow,” Buck muttered as he approached his jeep. 

A hand on his shoulder had Buck stopping in his tracks. Eddie looked at him, really looked at him. There was more expression in Eddie’s eyes than Buck had ever seen. “Bobby called, said that you’ve worked a shift straight from hell and that you had unpleasant visitors. He also mentioned that you weren’t yourself, which is understandable. I’m not letting you drive in this condition. Get in the truck,” he motioned to his vehicle. 

“‘M fine. Thanks for the save. I’ll see you tomorrow,” it was hard to string together words. Buck just wanted to go home, forget this shift happened, and make the weird feelings go away. 

“You’re not fine, and that’s okay. But you’re not leaving this parking lot without being in the passenger seat of my truck. Get in,” Eddie stared at Buck, as if challenging him to disagree. 

Buck wordlessly got in the truck, too tired to come up with another argument. As Eddie turned out of the lot and started away from Buck’s apartment, Buck spoke again. “This isn’t the way to my apartment,” he muttered.

“We’re not going to your apartment. Abuela has Chris for tonight and you need someone to have your back tonight...and I promised to always have your back.”

Buck said nothing for the remainder of the ride. His brain was on automatic as he went through the motions of getting into Eddie’s house. He needed to get himself together and show Eddie that there was no reason to worry over him. He’d caused enough worry for the man in the past year and a half, he didn’t need to cause even more. Taking a breath as he laid his bag down against the wall in the entryway, Buck forced a believable smile to his face. “Seriously, Man. I’ll be fine. Let me take a nap, then, if you wouldn’t mind, take me back by the station so I can get my Jeep and go to the loft.”

Eddie studied his face, but didn’t show on his own what he was thinking. “You can use my bed for the nap. Go ahead and take a shower to get the grime off while I fix something light for you to eat before you rest.”

_______________

Buck hadn’t meant to actually fall asleep when he’d laid down on Eddie’s bed. Jolting up from his sleep with a shout on his tongue and tears in his eyes was never fun. The numb feeling from earlier in the day was gone and he was left with the crashing emotions that came from his shift and his unsuspected surprise. 

But Eddie was there. He was muttering softly into Buck’s ear as he held Buck close. Buck could make out his own figure shaking as he grasped Eddie’s shirt. Buck doesn’t really know when he’d let the floodgates down, but his cheeks were wet and he was clutching Eddie close for dear life. 

Buck doesn’t know how long he sits there with Eddie, but he starts to be able to make out what Eddie says as he holds onto him, “I’m sorry. You’re going to be okay, I promise. I’m here for you. Let it out.” A constant litany of reassurances and apologies. 

Buck lets himself hold onto Eddie for a bit longer as he composes himself. He doesn’t know what to say to Eddie. He doesn’t know how to thank him or how to extract himself from the embarrassment that’s setting in. Pulling back, Buck opens and closes his mouth. Eddie reaches after him, shaking his head. “Don’t. Don’t push it all back in. I know I’m not the best at talking things out, but I’m a very good listener. You’re hurting and I want to help. I have your back, don’t you trust me?”

Buck could only nod. It was silent as Buck thought, Eddie’s arms still around him. Quietly, Buck broke the silence. “Kids.” Buck shook his head as Eddie gave him a tight squeeze silently to get him to continue. “All the calls. They were-they were kids. Just kids. Fucking heart attack at fifteen, gone before we got there. Stupid dares that put a nine year old in danger. Fell through two floors, unresponsive. Hell, I almost crushed her when the rope snapped on the way down to get her,” Buck laughed, but it wasn’t a laugh that he or Eddie had heard before.

Eddie just held Buck closer, no matter what he wanted to say...Buck needed to get it all out before he could try and comfort his best friend. “I just kept thinking, what if Christopher’s friends had dared him to-to go into some condemned building and he ended up in that little girl’s place? What if-what if that little girl had gone in alone and no one had known about it? Would we have still found her in time to save her?”

Buck was silent again as he thought of the shift. It truly was one hell of a shift. “Two years ago we were called to a rollercoaster malfunction. I was sent up to help the few people on it down and I helped almost everyone. But, this one guy...he just-I couldn’t hold him and he-he fell. I watched as he hit the ground, head splitting open at the impact. I never wanted to see something like that again. We got called to a rollercoaster malfunction. Tons of people on it, on the peak of the coaster, hanging upside down. Chim, Hen and I got down fifty percent of the people before things creaked and metal bended. Supports gave way, three people fell. Those that were still hanging on, Chim and Hen helped and we were almost done.”

Buck’s voice was quiet as he picked at a loose thread on the comforter. “I had two people I needed to get down and we’d be done. But looking at it, I knew I wouldn’t be able to get both of them. I’d need both hands to help the male who’d been crushed by the bar, cutting his skin. They were no older than sixteen and the girl...she just wanted her friend safe. She didn’t care what happened to her. I tried,” his voice cracked. Clearing his throat, he continued, “I tried to come up with a plan to save them both, but the kid was getting worse, so I asked Bobby to put out an inflatable. I knew, given the height, that she would be dead on impact, no matter if she fell correctly or not.”

Buck’s voice was thick with unshed tears. His body was shaking. “I released the bar and I had the kid. I was trying to pull him into the basket, but he was fighting me. He didn’t want to live if his friend didn’t. He-he toppled me over the basket. Everything groaned and I thought that it was going to give way, but it didn’t. I was holding on and I was trying to hold onto the kid, but he just kept struggling and he twisted my arm and I just-for a second my grip loosened and-and he just fell...didn’t even hit the inflatable and his skull just-” Buck broke. He couldn’t keep the tears at bay. 

Eddie was holding him even tighter, placing his head on the back of Buck’s neck. He was trying to comfort Buck, but he knew that nothing he did would make that pain go away. Eddie doesn’t know how long they sit there before Buck breaks the silence again. “We got called for a water rescue. Parents turned their back for one second and the kid, only five, fell off the pier. Didn’t know how to swim without the floaties. The lifeguard on duty was drunk off his ass and unable to help. We were five minutes from the scene, having just finished with a kitchen fire. We get there and everyone’s crowded around the edge of the pier. They’re just watching as the current drags the girl further out. The parents are making a scene, but no one was doing anything to help the girl. Bobby was trying to get information, but I saw her head go under and she didn’t immediately resurface, so I got out of my turnout and just-I just jumped in.”

Buck shivered as he remembered the feeling of the water around him. “I felt like I was back in the tsunami. The current was so strong, it just-it pulled me like the wave had pushed and pulled me that day at the pier. I couldn’t see the girl, I couldn’t find her and it was like I couldn’t find Chris and things were just-it was all-” he motioned to his head, “messed up. I was looking for Chris, but I wasn’t looking for him...I was looking for a girl who fell off the pier. I felt like I was drowning, but I knew she was actually drowning, and I just kept searching and the current kept pulling me. I couldn’t find her. I couldn’t find Chris and I couldn’t find her and Bobby and the others couldn’t find her and she was just-she was gone,” Buck whispered. “Just like Chris was suddenly just gone.”

Eddie forced Buck to look at him. Even though he told himself he wouldn’t interrupt, he didn’t like the look Buck had in his eyes, it was becoming similar to the one he’d seen when he found Buck in the locker room, just staring down the two adults blocking his path. “Chris is fine. You saved Chris. We found him. It wasn’t your fault and what happened to that little girl today wasn’t your fault. Buck-”

“I should have jumped in sooner to get to her...before she went under.”

“No, you were following protocol. You were waiting to get all the information and when you realized that the little girl needed help sooner than later, you jumped in without hesitation, without regards to your own safety. You did what you could, Buck.” 

“But it wasn’t enough. It’s never been enough. I’ve never been enough,” Buck whispered, thinking back to all the memories of his childhood. He was never enough for his parents. Nothing he did was ever enough for them. 

“That’s not tr-”

“All my life, I’ve wanted to be enough. With Maddie, I was or-or I thought I was, but she left and I was never enough for my parents. They’d tell me that I could do better. Art projects for Mother’s Day or Father’s day were thrown away because-because they weren’t good enough. They were childish and-and messy and my parents, they didn’t do messy. I didn’t go out and play with other kids my age because it was ‘too dirty’. I just wanted my parents to be proud of me, but instead they treated me like I was a trophy to be shown off at every event or gathering...but in the walls of our home, I was nothing. My grades always had to be perfect ‘a ninety-nine isn’t a perfect score, Evan.’ ‘Detention is for the unruly kids, you’re supposed to be better.’ ‘No, you can’t go to your friend’s birthday party, you got a B on your exam so you have to study more.’ Nothing was ever enough, I was never enough. I got accepted into colleges that I wanted to go to, but they weren’t the Ivy Leagues they wanted. I got into Princeton, but it wasn’t Harvard. Fire Science, which I loved, wasn’t an acceptable degree. Joining the Navy was looked at as giving up. Working to be a SEAL wasn’t good enough for them. Eddie, I’ve never been enough and I thought for once that I was enough and they had to come back and ruin that too,” Buck sobbed. 

Eddie didn’t know how to respond to that. There was so much to unpack. What he wanted to say was to hell with his parents for ever making a man as amazing as Evan Buckley ever think he wasn’t good enough, but he knew he needed to hold that thought back for the time being. “You’ve always been enough. You’re better than enough for me...for me and Christopher. You’re perfect the way you are. Hard headed, strong, loving, caring, and so much more. Anyone who made you feel different was wrong.”

“The reason everyone leaves me is because no one was present for me in the beginning. No one cared. Sure, Maddie was there, but she left because of our parents. She was never truly in my corner because she was planning her freedom. I wasn’t enough to stay, Eddie...don’t you get it? I’ll never be enough to stay.”

Eddie moved so that he was in front of Buck. After a moment of hesitation, he placed his hand on Buck’s cheek. “Evan, I need you to listen to me and hear me. You are more than enough. You’ve had a lot of shit thrown at you during your life, but it’s made you the wonderful man you are today. It’s made you a man that I want my son to look up to. It’s made you the man that I fell in love with. I know you’re hurting. I’m sorry for that and if I could make it stop, I would. Bad calls and memories of a past we want to forget are part of life, but it makes you stronger in the end. I know how strong you are now and I know that you’ll come out on the other side even stronger...and I’m here every step of the way.” 

_______________

Telling Eddie was surprisingly easier than he’d ever imagined. Buck hated talking about the past, but once it was out there, Buck couldn’t stop talking about it. After having lunch with Eddie, they’d settled down to watch something on Netflix that wasn’t kid-friendly. Buck couldn’t really focus on it. A couple of minutes, looking between the television and Eddie, Buck made his decision. 

“I always told my parents that I was doing something important for my college degree. They always wanted more information, but I told them that they’d have to wait and see. They were already disappointed in me for not getting into Harvard, but I thought they might be proud of my degree. Fire Science. I mean, it’s science and they wanted me to do something in science. So, graduation day comes and they call my name. They announce my degree and I turn to see my parents...think they’ll be clapping. The only one clapping is Maddie. The only person that was proud of me and my degree was my sister.”

Buck looked down at his hands in his lap. “After the graduation, instead of taking me out to the reservation they made, they belittled my degree choice...it didn’t matter that I finished two years faster than all the other four years. It didn’t matter that it made me happy. It wasn’t what they wanted. It wasn’t enough. After that, I still had some misguided idea that I could make my parents proud of me. I could make up for everything and finally get their affection and pride. So I joined the Navy. I trained for the SEALs…”

‘If his parents couldn’t be proud of his degree, Evan would have to show that he could be a proper defender...serve his country and make them proud that way. He passed the requirements to get in with flying colors. Basic training wasn’t even that bad. He’d been on a strict schedule since he turned eight. Channeling that into the orders of his superiors had been easy. 

Basic underwater demolition/SEAL (BUD/S) was one of the hardest things he’d put himself through. Phase 1, the physical conditioning seven week course. Each week got harder and harder. A weekly four mile run on top of the daily running, calisthenics, swimming, and boat runs they had to do. His favorite were the timed obstacle courses. He did really well in those, far better than his other trainees. Swimming took a bit of getting used to with the equipment and the time element, but he eventually aced that too. The first three weeks were used to condition him and the other trainees to be able to get through Hell Week. If he’s being honest, Hell Week was both his favorite and least favorite part of phase one. He slept maybe four hours throughout the whole week. He spent five and a half days of continuous training with more than 20 hours a day of just physical training. The week consisted of more than 200 miles of running, plenty of calisthenics, swimming, and boat runs. It was easy for Evan to get lost in the grind of the day. It made him focus on one goal and not overthink everything else. The three weeks after that were easier and Evan was ready for the next phase. 

Phase two consisted of Evan growing close to another trainee, Layne. Combat diving was definitely a favorite of Evan’s. He loved water and it felt almost second nature to be in the water. One of his boat partner’s, Layne, was also in his combat diving team. Buck helped Layne to be more comfortable with the aspects of combat diving, helped him to understand the mechanics...and they shared their first kiss after a five mile swim. The physical training during this phase became even more intensive and the trainees were taught basic dive medicine and medical skills in case that would be needed later on in their careers. Again, Evan excelled. He’d finally found something he was good at...something his parents would make his parents proud of him. By the end of this seven week phase, Evan was bulkier. By the end, he was the first to finish in all of his water tests: a timed 2 mile swim in eighty minutes (he did that in sixty minutes), a four mile run in training gear in thirty-one minutes (took him twenty-five), and a 3.3 mile swim and 5.5 mile swim. And by the end, he and Layne were closer than ever.

Phase three was Evan’s least favorite week. It all started becoming real. He would use the skills he learned to hurt others, if needed. Land Warfare. The first two weeks consist of teaching the class basic weapons, demolitions, land navigation, patrolling, rappelling, marksmanship, infantry tactics, and small-unit tactics. During the third phase, the class is taught to gather and process information that will complete the overall mission. It’s also the phase that broke Evan’s heart. Layne left him during week four. Like everything else, Evan was quick to absorb the information thrown at him. He could tell that his fellow trainees had some trouble with the fast paced learning, but to him, it was second nature. To make his parents proud, he had to learn faster than everyone else. He had to be better than everyone else. On the third week, they were transported to an island to test out their knowledge on everything they learned...and Evan aced it. Even on little sleep, Evan was able to think clearly and do his part cleanly. He was a machine, used for destruction and information gathering...and he hated it. He hated that he was so good at it. By the end, he completed the two mile ocean swim in sixty-two minutes (everyone else finished around minute seventy or so), a four mile run in his gear in twenty-four minutes (instead of the thirty minutes he was given), and completed a fourteen mile run. 

But Evan couldn’t be a mindless machine. He was so much more than that...and he couldn’t just blindly follow orders and be expected to do whatever was asked of him if it involved heavy machinery like bombs or machine guns. He had standards...so he dropped out.’ 

“My father hated the fact that I dropped out. And my instructors were so disappointed. Many of them tried to get me to continue on. They quoted how good I had done throughout the training, how I’d never complained and how I could have had an amazing career with the SEALs...but I couldn’t be their killing machine, Eds. So, my father made it known that he was disappointed in me. He just kept yelling, kept berating me for ruining one of the best things that could have happened to me. Mind you, he hated the idea at first, but when he realized just how far I could have gone, the contacts I could have had if I furthered a career in the Navy, he was pissed. But I yelled back, I got in his face and I told him off. I was so angry and the training I went through, I wanted to hurt him as he had hurt me...but I didn’t. I left. I left the country.”

Eddie was quiet as he ran a hand through Buck’s hair. He was trying to be comforting for Buck’s sake, but he had so many questions...like why hadn’t Buck told him about going through all of the SEAL’s basic training before dropping out? But he kept silent. “So I left for South America. I didn’t want any contact with my parents. I think it all crashed down on me that I could never make them proud...that I’d always have something wrong with me when it comes to them. In South America, I traveled around. To make money, I bartended. I learned the language enough to be able to speak with the locals, even if it was a bit broken at first. I had my first taste of freedom...that freedom Maddie found when she went to college. I slept around. I was a bit of a manslut, but who could blame me? I had no one that I had to appease in South America.”

Buck’s smile was nostalgic and clashed with the deep sadness in his eyes. “I had freedom, but I was miserable,” he snuggled closer to Eddie’s warmth, as if seeking more comfort that Eddie was willing to give. “No one understood me or, I should say, no one truly understood me. No one knew my past, and that was great for the first few months...but I wanted someone that could relate...someone that I didn’t have to fight a language barrier to understand. Not even just that, I didn’t feel like I was helping anyone. All I wanted was to help others...so after a couple more months of misery, I packed up and moved to LA. I wasn’t really sure what I wanted to do when I got here. I thought about going into the police force...but I never wanted to hurt someone and I absolutely hated guns training with the SEALs, so I threw that out. A couple of weeks after moving, I was walking through downtown. There was this huge warehouse that used to be next to that coffeeshop that you like so much. It held the supply of paper for Newspapers along with a couple of other things...but somehow, a fire had started.”

Buck shook his head as he thought about it. “Apparently, a couple of kids had snuck out of their parent’s eyes while downtown and they were in the warehouse. A bystander had shouted that he saw two people enter the warehouse a couple of minutes before the smoke had been noticed. The smoke was getting thicker and I had no clue how far fire crews were or if they’d been called...so I told that bystander to call 9-1-1 and went in.”

Buck clenched and released his hands. It was a sign that things hadn’t worked out the way he’d wanted them to. “I get in there, and the fire is everywhere. The smoke is getting darker by the second and I don’t even know where the kids could have been. I didn’t know what they looked like or how far they could have gotten before the fire started. There’s paper on fire raining down everywhere and I’m shouting for these kids to tell me where they are so that I can get them out…”

‘Each breath caused Buck’s lungs to burn. It felt eerily similar to the burning of the drown resistance training he’d gone through with the SEALs, but amplified. All around him, all Buck could see was fire and smoke. Something creaked to his right, and Buck’s training kicked in to move him out of the way of the falling support beam. Buck focused on his breathing and calling for the two people that might be in the warehouse. 

It was getting hotter in the warehouse by the minute, and Buck didn’t like the thought of that. From what he could tell, there were a lot of things in the building related to manufacturing newspapers, what if they had machinery that used certain flammable chemicals to aid in that? What if they housed those chemicals here? Buck wanted to get out of the warehouse before he had to find out. 

As Buck was getting to the back of the warehouse, he heard something. Following the sound, he found a little boy, no older than ten, crying. He was trying to pull his friend from under shelves that had fallen on him. Buck walked over quickly, lifting the burning metal enough for the boy to pull his friend from under it. “We need to get out of here, quickly.”

Buck had picked up the unconscious boy before putting the other on his back and jogging quickly through the burning warehouse. Just as he was making it to the front of the warehouse, there was a groan from the building and multiple support beams fell in front of the door. Buck had mentally cursed before setting both boys down. “Watch out for anything falling. I’m going to try and get our path cleared.”

Buck had no strategy. He didn’t see any other ways out-which that should be a violation. Pulling at the burning wood and hot metal sent pain signals through his body, but he didn’t focus on it. He had to get the two kids out. It was the first time he thanked his training from the SEALs. He could push back the pain to make sure others were safe. After five minutes of maneuvering beams out of the way, Buck could get the kids out. The kid that was still conscious was barely so as Buck picked him and the other kid up. He ran out into the fresh air, coughing as he did.’

“Fire crews had just pulled up as I got out. The first kid was going to be fine after some oxygen...but the second kid wasn’t breathing. I don’t know how long it had been since he had stopped breathing, I hadn’t checked. All I had thought to do was get them out of the building quickly...but I didn’t check breath support. He died. Unable to resuscitate. The kid’s mom was so distraught and I didn’t know how to even begin apologizing...I couldn’t save her son. I wasn’t enough to keep her son from dying.”

Buck licked his lips as he looked up to Eddie. “It was the 118 that showed up. Bobby was the new captain of the crew. Hen and Chim were still relatively new to the job. Chim was coming up on his first year anniversary and Chim was around six months in. Bobby had taken me aside, talked to me...told me that if I wanted to make a difference, I should sign up for the Fire academy...and now, here I am.”

“And now here you are, an amazing, kind, and generous fireman,” Eddie started. “You’re my best friend and I probably wouldn’t have met you if you hadn’t had all of that happen to you. I’m sorry that you’ve had to go through life thinking that you aren’t enough, but to me-to Chris-you are beyond enough. You fit into our family so well, it was scary when I first realized how intertwined you were to our family unit, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. Evan, I want you to be able to talk to me about anything that’s bothering you...and maybe try going to therapy again. I know what happened with your last therapist, but maybe you can try Frank...he’s good at what he does.”

Buck gulped, shoulders tense. “I don’t-I don’t know. I can’t...I mean, I know you’ve gone to him but I just-”

“Deep breaths, Buck. It was only a suggestion, you don’t have to. If you’re comfortable just talking things out with me, that’s okay.”

“No, I-I want to I just,” Buck licked his lips, “I don’t-I don’t know how to...it’s so easy to talk to you, but I don’t think…”

“We can go whenever you want to. There’s no pressure or rush.”

Buck was quiet for a few minutes before nodding. He looked to Eddie, taking a deep breath, “okay...next concern, my parents...I-they said it wasn’t over. I don’t want them around, continuing to fuck up my life...I never wanted anyone to have to meet them. I didn’t want anyone to figure out just how fucked up I was because of them.”

“You’re not fucked up. They don’t define you. You are amazing and generous and caring. You are so much more than how you could have turned out from everything you’ve told me about your upbringing. You wear your heart on your sleeve...I don’t trust anyone more than you with my son...you basically coparent him with me because you set such a good example for him. If your parents are still here tomorrow, I’ll make them leave, you don’t have to worry about it.”

“How did I manage to get someone as good as you in my life?”

“You deserve all good things, Evan. You deserve even better than me.”

“No one is better than you, Eds.” 

Eddie smiled, placing a hand on Buck’s cheek. “There are others better, but thanks for the compliment.”

“Don’t talk about yourself like that,” Buck rolled his eyes. 

“Look who’s talking. Take your own advice. You make everyone else’s problems your own. You let yourself be defined by your worst moments when you are so much more than that. A couple of fucked up situations don’t define the whole you.”

Buck lowered his head, “when did you get so wise?”

“When I went to therapy.”

“We can try it.”

“Let me know when and I’ll be there.”

[wincestismyguiltypleasure]

Oh, we most certainly do, my pretty moon girl. 🌙 I would like to point out the fact that you made me a squirmy, giggling mess in front of my co-workers. I was so distracted by your sinfully pretty words that I could barely focus for the rest of the day. God, don't even get me started on how many times I caught myself peeking back into my inbox to read that maddening little gem of a message. 🔥

I'm so glad to hear that you had a wonderful day. 💋 I hope your little escapade was all you wanted it to be and more. My heart longs to have spent that day with you, my darling. (Almost as badly as I ache to indulge in any fantasy, that one or another, with you.)

You do it with style and flare, my Bobby. Like only my queen can. 🔥You have me so mesmerized that you literally had my head swimming and my knees weak with just six simple words. I still haven't recovered, by the way. 😈

Just when I think my heart is finally under control you go and throw it for a loop with your perfect, jaw dropping words. I would love to say that I've learned new ways to keep myself calm but I could never lie to you. Besides, it's no secret that you make me crazy. 🔥 (At least I haven't gone spilling other secrets that you send swirling around in my mind.)

My queen, just the thought of a smile on your gorgeous face makes me an incoherent mess. Hence my late reply, my brain just now started functioning somewhat properly after your naughty little message fried it. My day was absolutely lovely, my pretty moon girl 🌙 because I got to talk to you. 💋 Just your name across my screen could distract me from even the worst day and fill my heart with nothing but pure joy.

Daily reminder that everything about you makes me happy (and maybe just a little bit crazy 💋🔥). I hope with all my lovesick heart that you are having a good day, my pretty moon girl. 🌙

secret desire of mine, we need to talk. 💋 you know i’m supposed to be able to function around other people, don’t you? what i’m not supposed to do is letting out dreamy&frustrated sighs and read your words over and over (and over) again.

yes, i had a wonderful day. 💕 i’m on a little escapade in a natural park until tomorrow, and yet, for some reason, there are moments of the day when seeing your name on my phone becomes a lot more distracting than panthers or polar bears. but after all, aren’t you the rarest and most beautiful creature of all? (no i’m totally not thinking about you behind a glass wall looking outrageously dangerous and tempting….oops, wrong fantasy)

trying to make you happy, and crazy 🔥, is at the top of my to do list (so manymany secret things i’d like to do). i can’t say how many times I reread your answers, trying and failing not to show their effect on me in public. you make me learn new ways to stiffle the urges that come with my terrifyingly rapid heartbeat.

thank you so much for having taken the time to turn me into an incoherent mess today. 💋 my day was destined to be a good one since you’re around. i hope your day is gorgeous and relaxing, my dream. don’t let my grumpy fool you, i’m addicted to the way you distract me from anything that’s not you, amber. 🔥💕